25 life lessons I learned during my high school years.

students at graduation, throwing their hats in the air

Hello, dear readers! This blog post is going live only two days before my graduation. Yes, I’m finally graduating from high school and four years of struggles and breakthroughs are finally over. This period in my life was definitely way better than first nine years in my previous school but not easier at all. Sorry to break it to you but, as you grow up, life doesn’t get easier, however, you do get stronger. If at the age of seven you were sitting in the corner and crying about mean comment someone said to you, then at the age of nineteen you just brush it off and focus on what matters. Since I started my studies at high school, I have learned a lot of lessons about people, living on my own, self-development and school, so today when I’m super close to closing this chapter of my life, I decided to share some high school student’s wisdom with you. Let’s start, shall we?

  1. It is normal to be clueless about your career path in high school. You are not the only one, a lot of your peers don’t know what to do with their life yet, too.
  2. Overcoming anxiety and speaking up in class pays off. It’s better to experience a short moment of embarrassment during one of your lessons that fail the exam.
  3. Growing apart from your old friends is normal. I know that you probably braided friendship bracelets as a kid with this person, spent a lot of hours at their house and promised each other to get matching tattoos but, if this person doesn’t help you grow and/or doesn’t make you happy anymore, it’s time to let go.
  4. Depression is a diagnosis not a life sentence. In a lot of cases you can get better.
  5. Don’t waste your time on getting mad about things you can’t change. Shit happens and sometimes the only option is to move on. So you got played by some dude, who appeared to be Prince Charming at the first sight and now you are hurt. What are you going to do? Waste your energy on trying to teach him a lesson? If his mother couldn’t do that, you won’t be able to either.
  6. First impressions might be false. Maybe in two years you will despise people, who acted like your friends during first two weeks of high school and that’s alright.
  7. Don’t go to buy groceries when you are hungry or too full. In first case scenario you will buy more food than you can possibly eat and in second one you won’t buy enough and be mad about it later.
  8. When it comes to alcohol, know your limit. More alcohol doesn’t always equal more fun. There’s nothing fun about the situation when you are puking your guts out and the force of gravity seems to be irresistible. Believe me, I learned it the hard way.
  9. If you decide to get drunk, make sure there’s someone, who will take care of you when you have had one too many drinks. Nothing is worse than being sick from too much alcohol and seeing that no one around you cares about your wellbeing. Again, trust me, I have experienced that.
  10. Just because you have made a mistake, it doesn’t mean that you are a mistake. We all have done at least one thing that had really bad consequences and that we truly regret but what is done, is done. It’s human to make mistakes and blaming yourself for the rest of your life won’t make anything better.w
  11. Planning and getting more stuff done is cool. Really. Bullet journals are not only a great place to plan your day, month and year but also express your creativity. If it is personalized for your taste, you will be more tempted to use it.
  12. Don’t keep things in your life that make you unhappy. It doesn’t matter, if those are clothes, people you follow on Instagram, pictures of your ex or anything else. If doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it and focus on what makes you truly happy.
  13. Don’t forget about self-care and don’t feel guilty about having some “me” time. Yes, you deserve those 30 minutes of reading your favorite book even though you still have to study for finals. Don’t drive yourself nuts by prohibiting yourself relaxation. Sleep is not the only type of rest your need.
  14. Appreciate every moment you can spend with your high school friends. Moving away is an exciting and fresh start but leaving high school friends is heart-breaking.
  15. Don’t break up with someone over text. And don’t say “I love you” for the first time through text either. Those things are serious enough to be brought up in person.
  16. Don’t shy away from STD talk. It’s better to be safe than sorry and even if you have STD, be honest about it and also mention all the ways you can prevent it from giving it to your partner.
  17. Don’t be scared to be confused about your sexual orientation. Especially during late teen years and in your 20’s it’s okay to feel curious and feel the need to explore.
  18. When someone has betrayed you and treated you badly, you have two choices – to start treating everyone around you badly or forgive your enemy and spread love in this world. Pick the second option.
  19. It’s okay to communicate with your closest friends only few times a week. The amount of text messages sent doesn’t define the strength of the friendship.
  20. The best teachers are those, who not only can teach the subject very well but also add some life lessons along the way. I have had two teachers in high school, who were like that and I appreciate them with all my heart.
  21. A person’s age has nothing to do with his level of maturity. Some people in their thirties and forties can have the logic of a fifteen year old. *sighs*
  22. Learn to enjoy the time you spend alone. There’s nothing wrong with taking yourself out for a coffee, dinner, concert or an interesting local workshop. In fact, moments like those might help you clear your mind and maybe even get inspired.
  23. Set your eyes on the goal and face your fear. So what if launching that awesome blog you are working on takes hours of research? So what if getting into your dream school means that you need to raise your average grade? Procrastinating because of fear or quitting everything won’t help you to live your dream life. I know you’re scared to take the risk but just do it.
  24. Don’t believe your Math teacher, you won’t use that Pythagorean theorem ever again. Well, unless one day you decide to become a Math teacher yourself.
  25. No matter, how weird you are, you will always find someone, who likes your for who you are. Fitting in isn’t a thing anymore when there are so many different types of people in the world.

I will just end this post here and pat myself on the shoulder because this has definitely been the longest blog post I have ever written on Dolls Have Hearts. What life lessons did you learn in your high school years? Share in the comments below! Until next time!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

 

My bucket list for the summer of 2018

River and woods

Hello, dear readers! If you are in your late teens or older, you have probably heard about such thing as bucket list. Usually it’s made to list all the things that we want to do before we die. I, however, felt like it’s too generic and I get a little confused, which of the things should I get done now and which can wait, for example, ten more years. That is why I decided to make a smaller and more realistic bucket list for this summer. In this one I am not going to mention that I would like to, let’s say, visit Big Apple because it’s not my priority at the moment and it’s way too expensive. So, without any further intro, let’s see what I hope to accomplish this summer.

  1. Get a summer job. (For some weird reason I have never had a summer job, only a temporary one during my studies.)
  2. Get another tattoo. (During past year a lot has changed and I feel like it’s time to get another beautiful “mark” on my body that will have a different story behind it.)
  3. Talk to a stranger during a bus ride. (Accomplished on May 31st. Okay, I didn’t actually talk to the guy but I passed him a note and we had an old school type of conversation that way.)
  4. Give gifts to the most meaningful teachers in my current school. (Accomplished in 5th and 6th of June.)
  5. Look absolutely stunning in my graduation – with perfect dress, hair and everything.
  6. Visit “Robert’s books”. (If you know me well then you also know I’m obsessed with nice bookstores and cafes. In this case, it’s a bookstore and cafe all in one.)
  7. Take myself on a solo date to the cinema. (I have never went to a movie by myself and have been to the cinema only once in my life. Time to switch things up.)
  8. Try to imitate one of my childhood idol’s looks back in the day when I was obsessed with her.
  9. Try out lava cakes. (Nope, I haven’t had one in my life. | Done on 18th of June.)
  10. Go to a concert by myself. (It doesn’t matter, if it’s huge concert or not, this summer is about enjoying being single.)
  11. Make cocoa jelly. (It might seem a little cheesy but this little thing really brings me back to the childhood.)
  12. Try out pole dancing. (This has been on my bucket list for way too long but I’m still very curious about it.)
  13. Rewrite my CV. (It’s time. Really. I’m no longer unexperienced girl in her late teens.| Completed on June 11th.)
  14. Share incredibly personal thing on my blog. (Just wait for it, I’ll publish the post when I’m ready. 🙂 )
  15. Get a tuition loan for studies in UK.
  16. Get accepted in Bangor university.
  17. Pack for moving to Wales. (These three things are kind of tied together and I’m keeping my fingers crossed, just so everything would work out. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time.)
  18. Spend time with my closest friends as much as possible before moving away.
  19. Treat myself with a nice massage. (I really don’t remember the last time I had one.)
  20. Go to the zoo. (That’s the place I visited quite a few times as a kid with my grandfather, Oh, memories…)
  21. Dye my hair in an unusual colour. 
  22. Get rid of a smartphone and get usual mobile phone instead.
  23. Finish my current art journal. (For past few months I kind of stopped art journaling but now that I have returned to it, I remembered, how much I actually enjoy it.)
  24. Enjoy a rainy day like I used to when I was a kid. (Even if that means jumping into puddles while wearing just a swimsuit.)
  25. Cut out all the the toxic and meaningless people from my life. (What’s the point of keeping numbers in my phone that I haven’t used for ages, keeping it touch with people, who make me feel less than or still being Facebook friends with people I haven’t talked to for last 4 years?)
  26. Clean my closet from clothes and shoes that don’t fit or don’t make me happy anymore. (Even after several attempts to clean out my closet, there are still several things left that don’t fit me and don’t make me happy anymore. When I move away from home, I won’t be able to take a lot of clothes with me, so choosing process will be easier when I only have the ones that look good on me.)

That is it for my summer bucket list at the moment. Maybe I will add some bullet points later but right now it seems pretty lengthy already because some of these things can take several days or weeks. However, I thought that creating a bucket list for a specific time period could really help me to make the best out of it and realize that I don’t need to wait for a perfect time to start doing things that I have always wanted to do.

Do you have a bucket list for this summer? If so, what’s on it? Share in the comments bellow. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

5 reasons why I stopped using Tinder and other dating apps.

Brunette, sitting on a bench, holding a smartphone in her hand with white headphones laying beside her

Hello, dear readers! If you are anywhere below the age of eighteen, you are probably familiar with the hype about dating apps. Tinder, Match.com , OkCupid, HotOrNot, Happn, Once and many more apps are right at out fingertips and during the teenage years it might seem that if you are still single when you turn eighteen, you might actually find someone decent online. No more worrying about very few options to pick from. When I turned eighteen, I felt excited, too. Not because I could finally buy some wine or beer (although that’s also great) but because I could finally start using these popular dating apps that everyone was talking about. Don’t get me wrong – I was not obsessed with finding someone just so I don’t die alone. I was just bored and wanted to find someone to have interesting conversations with. However, after about a year of trying out different apps I gave up and here are five reasons, why I did it.

  1. I hate small talk. Guys on dating apps don’t have any conversation skills. In worst case I don’t even get a message. In a better case scenario I get simple “hey”. (Is that really all you have got? You definitely know, how to impress a girl.) And in best case scenario (which is not great anyway) I get “Hey, how are you doing?” or “Hey, you’re so sexy.” At first I thought that this happens only on apps like Tinder, who seem to be used mainly for hookups but turns out it’s a pretty common thing on every dating app.
  2. A lot of dating apps that are seemingly free, include paid upgrades that allow to send unlimited messages, view profiles etc. I’m so tired of this bullshit. Stop advertising a certain dating app as completely free, if it’s not. No one likes to create an account in hopes of meeting someone just discover later that they can’t send a message to their crush cause they don’t have a “premium membership”.
  3. I believe that all long-lasting relationships start out as friendships. And by long-lasting I mean at least 5 years, that’s the very minimum. The thing is – no one on dating sites is looking for a friendship, they are pretty straightforward right away. I, on the other hand, am a demisexual (which means I’m experiencing sexual attraction towards someone only when I have formed emotional bond with that person) don’t know right away, if I will want to engage in sexual activity with a certain person and I don’t want to rush it. To me chemistry should happen before physical intimacy, not afterwards. Sadly, most people, especially guys, think the opposite way.
  4. They’re full of catfishes and underage people. That’s the biggest risk of dating online – everyone can be, whoever he or she wants to me. Fifteen year olds can pretend they are twenty and the guy next door can pretend that he looks like Ansel Elgort. You may never know, if a person you are talking to is telling you the truth. Some people install dating apps just because they’re bored, some because they want to catfish others, some just are too curious and decide not to obey the rules (underage people!). Either way, that makes the mission of finding the perfect match even more impossible.
  5. Personality tests to help you find your perfect match are pretty much useless. So what, if someone doesn’t smoke, is caucasian, likes to go on coffee dates and is a cat person? That still doesn’t mean that we will get along. Sure, so-called personality tests are simply interesting to fill out but do they really increase your chances of meeting your ideal partner? I highly doubt that. It’s just another scam to make you more interested in certain dating app and assure you that somehow it’s better than all the others.

So those are five main reasons why I decided to stop using dating apps. I could rant more about their uselessness but I think that I already gave you enough reasons in this post. From now on I will just simply focus on being more present and meeting people in person. To tie this post with the previous one – life is not what happens on your phone. It’s what happens around you while you are too busy swiping and double tapping. Live here and now! However, if you actually have dating app success story and you disagree with my opinion, feel free to share your thoughts in comment section. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

 

How smartphone is ruining your life without you even knowing it.

Blonde girl sitting near the fountain with a phone in her hand.

Hello, dear readers! Today I am sharing with you more of an essay type of post about the topic that has been on my mind for quite a while. Without any further intro, let’s dive in.

“What a shiny, little thing!” You think to yourself as you open the box and unpack your new smart phone. It is beautiful, without a single scratch, works incredibly fast and offers a lot of opportunities. You are excited about being able to stay in touch with your friends 24/7, sharing a lot of interesting things on social media, playing games… You feel like you will never get bored again. There’s a whole world beneath your fingertips and instantly you get hooked, forgetting about the fact that your old phone was just the same way when you bought it but turned into laggy, slow and boring device months later.

First month of having a new phone feels like a honeymoon period. You are still exploring it’s options and don’t go anywhere without it. It responds to all of your wants and needs so well. It doesn’t really matter, how often your friends text you because the internet is full of opportunities. You will take that flawless selfie for Instagram, you will tweet non stop, you will post updates on Snapchat, trying to make your life seem more interesting that it actually is. You will anything to gain those followers on each social media platform because the more people follow you, the more influence you have… right? Wrong.

When the honeymoon period is over, you slowly start feeling like your phone doesn’t excite you as much. You keep checking it quite often to get the rush of endorphins but all you get is disappointment. Endless Youtube and Instagram notifications keep popping up but your inbox is still empty. No new messages. No missed calls. Nothing. Do your friends even think about you? If they are, why aren’t they checking up on you? Oh, look, they posted this picture on Instagram, doing some fun things but… you’re not on it. Are they even your friends? What if you don’t have any friends and all the people you used to communicate you were just pretending to like you? Anxious thoughts start racing in your mind and with every second you start feeling worse.

When messaging apps don’t carry any meaning anymore, you turn to social media apps. Maybe, if you post something exciting on Instagram, Twitter or Snapchat, someone will text you. Maybe someone will comment. Maybe someone, anyone will care. But… what can you post, if no one invites you to hang out anymore? If you post third selfie in row where you’re all by yourself, people will think that you are an antisocial freak. Or maybe a narcissist, who’s only cares about your own looks. You wouldn’t want that, right? So you post nothing, yet keep checking up on all the apps. Day by day you are losing followers on social media sites and the only people, who send you texts are your parents. But that doesn’t really count, does it? They are obligated to check up on you.

It’s been several months since your excitement about the “shiny, little thing”died. It doesn’t look so pretty and new anymore. Your smart phone is covered in scratches and the screen is cracked from that one time you went for a run and dropped it on the sidewalk. Even when you open music player, it takes ages to load and when it finally does, and you start listening to music, your phone freezes. The music stops. This device is nothing but a disappointment. It has made you feel lonely, unpopular and less than you are. Even worse, it has stopped performing the most basic actions it should be able to do – texting, calling, setting up an alarm, playing music…

Can it get any worse? You don’t want to spend a lot of money to buy new smart phone only after a year of using your current one but seems like you have no other choice… Wake up! There is a choice – you can stop wasting your money on smartphones. They are built to break after a year or so. That is how phone brands make money. If you would be able to buy a smartphone that lasts 5 or 10 years, there would be way less smartphone purchases meaning less money for phone brands. Also, do you really want to tie your life and self-esteem to a device? Do you really want to spend your whole life online instead of living in the moment? Do you really want to measure your self-worth in followers and likes? Do you want to live in constant anxiety, wondering why you haven’t received any text messages? Just think about it.

Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

My joy list – source of happiness in bleak days.

two girls standing in top of the mountain with raised hands

Hello, dear readers! As you may know, it’s currently an exam time for me which means that I am very stressed out. And, as you may know, it is so easy to focus on all the negative stuff in your life when you are stressed out. I caught myself putting myself down a lot, having a negative body image, worrying about relationships, losing belief that I could get in my dream school, feeling like I have lost my direction once again… You get the point. So today I decided to do something that might count as an act of self-care – writing down all the things that bring me joy. The reason, why I decided to share this with you is because I am encouraging you to do the same, especially if you are in some kind of routine right now or have been feeling down for a while. Do not skip the small things because every little thing matters. Let’s do this exercise together and try to come up with as many things as you can! So here are all the things that bring me joy in life.

  1. Rainy summer days. (Nothing compares to that refreshing feeling when it’s very sultry outside and finally it slowly starts to rain.)
  2. That moment when I can slowly enjoy a cup of coffee in my favorite coffee shop.
  3. Buying new books and notebooks.
  4. Morning routine in which I have at least 30 minutes to read a book and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea.
  5. My cats. (They don’t live with me right now but I visit them now and then, and their purring just warms up my heart.)
  6. Writing in any form. (Wheather it’s a journaling, writing and essay or continuing my novel, writing makes my mind feel clearer and I feel more calm after writing for a while.)
  7. Taking a warm bath. (Preferably with essential oils.)
  8. Listening to empowering music.
  9. Taking a nap.
  10. Reading inspiring books. (For example, “#Girlboss” by Sophia Amoruso, “Witch” by Lisa Lister and “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegy.)
  11. The smell of freshly mown grass.
  12. Enjoying a glass of wine after hard and exhausting day.
  13. Art journaling.
  14. Spontaneous road trips.
  15. Italian cusine.
  16. Exercising.
  17. Dancing.
  18. Watching movies.
  19. Painting.
  20. The smell of lilacs.
  21. Changing the colour of my hair.
  22. Buying new make up.
  23. Getting ready for special occasions.
  24. Going to concerts of musicians that I love.
  25. Getting tattoos.
  26. Trying out new dishes.
  27. Learning new languages.
  28. Riding a bike.
  29. Cold beer.
  30. Getting a manicure.

Those are all the things I can come up with right now but even just writing this list made me feel a lot better about myself and my life. It’s not all that sad and grey as it seemed just a little while ago. Even if it feels like that, those moments will pass. How many things could you come up with? And how many of them you had in common with me? Share in the comments below! 🙂 Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

 

Heartfelt advice for confused students on choosing the right career path.

Smiling brunette, holding a disposable cup.

Hello, dear readers! If you are a student just like me, you know what time of the year it is right now. An exam time. And for those of us, who are graduating this year it might be even more stressful, if we have no plans for the future. I was in the same boat just few months ago. Most of my life I thought that I will pursue music studies and there’s no way that could ever change but it did. I know, situations like these might be scary but I’m here to tell you – it’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out at the age of fifteen, eighteen or even soon after that. Some people get their Bachelor’s degree only in their thirties or forties and it’s fine. If you don’t want to continue your studies in current path or have no path at all, here’s what you can do.

  1. Take a risk and apply for that study programme that caught your eye, even though you might have very little or no experience with it at all. When I started looking for new opportunities, I stumbled across writing. In January I applied through several similar study programmes in different UK schools though UCAS: Creative & professional writing, Screenwriting and Creative writing. I had no idea, which one of those is the right one for me, I just knew that writing is what interests me the most. Three months later I had received offers, made my choices and now everything is in process. If you want to apply for university in UK, too, it’s not too late. There will still be a chance to do it this summer when UCAS opens “Clearing”. Read more about it here: https://www.ucas.com/ucas/undergraduate/apply-and-track/results/no-offers-learn-how-clearing-works
  2. Take a year off to gain some work experience. If you are too confused about your future right now and scared to make the wrong choice career-wise, there is also an opportunity to take a year or few off to work.
  3. Volunteer abroad. Do you want to see the world while doing something useful and gain valuable experience? If so, volunteering abroad might be the right choice for you. There are a lot of options to work with elderly people, wildlife, animals and much more. Some volunteer  programs costs nothing but some do. Find more about it here: https://www.projectsabroad.org and https://www.gooverseas.com/volunteer-abroad
  4. Travel the world for free or cheap. If you have an adventurous spirit, you might want to travel the world. “But how?” You may ask. “That is too expensive!” The truth is – it doesn’t have to be. The internet is full of resources about how to travel the world for free or cheap. You really don’t have to break the bank to see your favorite places. Here are some resources about that: https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/the-ultimate-guide-to-traveling-when-you-have-no-money/ , https://www.skyscanner.net/news/20-money-saving-travel-tips-and-secrets

That’s all that I have to share with you today. Yes, my blog posts are kind of short because of the lack of time to spend writing but I’m still happy that I’m doing so well with being devoted to Dolls Have Hearts even with a small amount of time. I will see you next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

5 life hacks that will make your student life better.

Three brunette schoolgirls in uniforms, in front of a blackboard

Hello, dear readers! If you’re still in high school or university, it is quite tough time. Balancing healthy lifestyle, good grades, social life and trying to stay sane meanwhile is quite a struggle, so I decided to share some life hacks that have made my life as a student easier.

  1. The “secret” sauce. Are you one of those people, who likes rich dressing on their salad and always buying high calories sauces in the store? I used to be that person until my mum shared the simplest salad dressing with me. Next time you have some salad leaves and tomatoes, add sauce that it made from oil, lemon juice, honey and mustard. I’m not going to note proportions here because some people like their sauce more sour, some more spicy, some sweeter. Just throw it in a cup, mix it up and voila! Now you have a delicious sauce. Besides – you probably already have all the ingredients needed in your house.
  2. Bullet journal – a key to being more productive. I know, you’re probably thinking that you are already productive enough or/and can remember everything that you need to get done during the day without even writing it down. I thought the same way just one year ago until I came across quite a few amazing youtubers, who have talked about productivity and bullet journaling, and that inspired me to improve my life by creating my own bullet journal. I used to hate planning it the past because planners seemed too small and boring to me but the best thing about bullet journal is – you can adjust it to your needs. You can add not only daily but also weekly, monthly and quarterly logs, habit tracker, quarterly goal section, lists of movies to watch, books to read and way more. Just go to Pinterest and look up some ideas.
  3. If you need to learn a new topic in a short amount of time, type: “*insert topic here* filetype: ppt” (for a Power Point presentation) . I’m surprised that I found about this just few days ago. Thankfully, exams are still ahead of me, so this might actually be a real life saver.
  4. Clean out your closet of the clothes that don’t fit anymore, don’t go together with anything, are worn out or simply don’t make you happy anymore. Trust me, this will decrease your chances of being late to a lecture by 85% . Yes, I am talking to you, girls, cause I used to be one of these people, who could decide what to wear in the morning because it seemed like nothing looks good on me. Invest some time and clean out your closet.
  5. If you have a laptop, stop paying for cable TV. Since I started living on my own, which was four years ago, I stopped using TV. Why pay extra, if you can save some money and choose what you want to watch and when do you want to do it?

That’s all for today’s post. One more thing that I would like to share – there is a little less than a month left until I all of my exams and I’m graduating and the second half of June. Currently it is last week before exams start, so I’m quite busy with rehearsals, lessons and homework. That is the reason why my last post are not as long as they used to be but also it kind of inspired me to write this post. Afterall, I am going to be a student at least for three more years but I love to sharing small, pleasant things along the way. Hopefully next week won’t be as busy for me, so I will try to get back to writing lengthy blog posts. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.