5 steps to becoming your real, authentic self.

Couple with raised hands, standing in front of the mountains.

Hello, dear readers! Today I wanted to talk about something that has been sitting on my mind for a long time, which is being yourself.  You probably want to ask: “What is there to talk about? I already know, who I am and what I want to be.” The truth is – you probably don’t. You just think you do. A little more than year ago I thought that my dream is to study classical guitar in Royal Academy of Music in London. Strange, wasn’t it? I couldn’t and still can’t imagine myself on the stage, earning living by playing in concerts. It took me some time to realize that all the years I heard my mother constantly talking about how nice it would be, if I would become a successful classical guitarist, for a while made me believe that it is my own idea. Of course, it wasn’t. I realized that even though my view to the future is not completely clear, I don’t see myself becoming a musician – performer. Performing on the stage often just isn’t what I picture for myself.

Maybe you, just like I was, from early childhood were influenced by different opinions and are taught lots of rules. Everyone – from parents and friends to media is responsible for how we see ourselves, what we believe in and, eventually, who we become. Sadly, often influence is too overwhelming and it is easier than ever to silence the inner voice everyone naturally has and blindly follow the norm. And let’s be honest – norm is boring. Besides – no great artist, musician, blogger or (insert any profession other here) has succeed by following the crowd. If you are reading this post, I am pretty sure you don’t want to be one of the crowd – boring and plain just like everyone else. However, you still don’t know, how to stand out and become a successful individual with amazing life. (Side note: when I say amazing, I don’t mean that you won’t face any hardships. You will but that’s okay.) Let me introduce you to 5 steps to becoming your real, authentic self.

  1. Stop and take a moment to ask yourself: “Where do I see myself in few years, if I keep living like this? Am I happy? Do I lack something in this future life? If so, that might be the sign that you have been taking the path others wanted you to take instead of following the real you. In the past I could picture myself as a musician on stage. I could even imagine, how happy my parents and teachers would be. But there was one thing I couldn’t visualize in the future – myself being happy in a life like this.
  2. Try to remember what you have enjoyed doing in your childhood. What was it? Did people around you encouraged you or thought it was a waste or time or outside the norm? Maybe you liked to paint but you mother told you that you won’t be able to get into art school so often that you even didn’t try? Maybe you liked to play football but your teacher or friends said that you’re just another average football player and you will never make it to the team in your country? Just think about what were you passionate back then and don’t skip the things that weren’t approved by others. Do you still enjoy any of these activities? If yes, that is a good sign.
  3. Think about all the things that differ you from others. Do you have weird laugh that you’re trying to hide? Do you never wear shorts because you think that your thighs are thicker than other girls’? Do you never speak up in class or in a meeting because you think that your voice sounds weird? Now, when you have made your list, it’s time to switch things up. Stop worrying about the opinion of others. Laugh like nobody could hear you, wear those cute shorts and speak up in class. And, for the sake of God, stop judging yourself. We all have quite a few haters, there’s no need to join the club and start hating yourself. Better be confident and fake it at the beginning, if you have to. As they say – fake it until you make it.
  4. Start doubting your limits. You probably think that you will never get rid of your shyness, clumsiness, never become successful in our dream niche and never get that dream job. What if I told you it’s not true? What if you’re listening to your inner negative voice and opinion of others way too much? A lot of famous and successful people were doubted before they made it. Take for an example Lady GaGa, Elvis Presley, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Marylin Monroe and many more. It’s time to become your own biggest supporter, start believing yourself and make your dreams come true.
  5. Split big goals into smaller steps. Knowing what you want and believing yourself is good but you will fail, if you won’t split big goals into small steps that will gradually help you accomplish what you wanted. Having a concrete plan will make you stay more motivated and not so overwhelmed by quantity of the work you will have to get done. For example, if your dream is to have blog with 10000 followers and have at least 3000 views daily, your smaller steps might be “polish your Pinterest profile” , “learn how to engage your Pinterest followers and turn them into your blog followers”, “find sites in your niche that accept guest posts” etc. You get the point.

I really hope that this post will inspire you a lot and make you want to change your life for the best. I might not be an expert in this area of life because I am in improvement process myself but sharing my tips and experience is great – now we can walk this path together!

However, before I go, I want to know: Does your future life vision satisfies you? Do you follow your inner voice or suggestions from family members and friends? Let me know in the comments!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

6 thoughts on “5 steps to becoming your real, authentic self.

    1. Thanks! 🙂 Yes, I can completely agree. Also there’s one more thing that used to hold me back – I didn’t believe that I have a chance to become the person I want to be by living the life I’m living. For a while I thought that maybe when I’m in a different school, job, enviroment etc, I will finally be able to change myself. So I guess, I used to put all the blame about me being the way I am on others and everything around me. It’s surprising to find out, how much power you have in your hands to change yourself no matter what. 🙂


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