4 reasons why I stopped using Tumblr.

computer, pen, plan and a hand, holding a cup of coffee

Hello, dear readers! I have finally rediscovered a way to write my blog posts faster and in time. A cup of coffee really does wonders. Anyways, today I wanted to talk about Tumblr – every teenager’s (ages 11 to 16) favorite social media platform. At least it was that way when I was about thirteen years old. I guess, it was not only a good way, how to socialize with peers but also a way to appear cooler than you actually are because you had a “blog”. Even if that blog consisted only from stuff that was reblogged from other people and had nothing to do with your life. I have to admit that I was such a Tumblr junkie back in the day. I used to spend a lot of time on it when I was depressed and confused about teen problems. At the time when Tumblr was full of fandom accounts, grunge blogs and similar stuff instead of porn bots, it was a place where to hide and feel like you actually matter. Once I actually had a blog with 500+ followers there and no, I didn’t post anything original there at all. However, time passed. After trying to create several different blogs on Tumblr, my obsession finally died at the age of 17. I tried going back to it again, hoping that it will love it as much as I used to but the feeling is gone. Maybe that is since I created Dolls Have Hearts and started treating it seriously. So enough of the intro for this post, here are my three reason why I stopped using Tumblr.

  1. It is full of  porn bots. God forbid, if you don’t turn “safe search” on. And even if you do that, there is still is a chance that they will follow you. All it takes is to reblog few fitspo pictures of attractive women and porn bots are coming for you. Do you know, how annoying it is that one fifth of your followers are bots? They’re just increasing the number of your followers but, of course not interacting at all. Sadly there’s no way to keep them away from this blogging platform, so keeping a blog there would mean clearing out the follower list every now and then just to block bots.
  2. The temptation to reblog content instead of making it myself is huge. No other blogging platform advertises reposting content as much as Tumblr does. You can literally have your own blog by just mindlessly reblogging and never speaking your own mind. In my option the main purpose of having a blog is to make a change in the world. Even if only ten people read your post and only four of them comment, it still counts. That is why I am keeping up Dolls Have Hearts. I know that I might not grow my follower count here as fast as I could on Tumblr but my followers here are truly genuine, want to interract, care about what I post and come here because of my opinion not some pretty pictures I have reblogged.
  3. There are rarely any blogs, who  post quality written content. Don’t get me wrong, I really like quality photography but I would like to see someone on Tumblr, who actually wants to inspire and inform people, and make the world a better place. There was an age when I used to enjoy Tumblr but right now I just feel like it is filled with confused teenagers, who are obsessed with different music bands and… I’m just not one of them. Not anymore.
  4. Post scheduling and staying active was hard. I noticed a while ago that the most popular blogs on Tumblr are popular because they are always active, not because they are posting quality stuff. I don’t want to be glued to my computer screen 24/7 and there are so many things I want to accomplish in life without worrying about losing my followers meanwhile. Having a blog on WordPress allows me to do just that. I can easily post one lengthy quality post every week at the same time and keep my readers interested.

I could go on and on about reasons why I quit Tumblr but I will end this here. In my opinion, if you are serious blogger, who wants to get your own voice out there, don’t use Tumblr. It’s not worth it. (Unless you are a fashion blogger, I guess. I don’t know for sure because I don’t fall into that category.) Don’t be fooled by pretty themes and widgets.

That is all I have to share with you today. I can see that not only my follower list but also my e-mail subscriber list has been growing slowly but surely. Thank you all for reading and liking my posts, and interacting with me. You can’t even imagine, how much that means to me. I know that Dolls With Hearts are currently quite a small crowd but every sign of appreciation from you makes me smile. My blog would never be the way it is without each and every one of you. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

 

Life update: career goals, school, love and everything else.

Mountains and hands, holding flowers

Hello, dear readers! No matter what, I am promising you and myself to stay consistent at blogging. This time my life got so messy that I had no proper post to prepare, so I am writing this instead and letting you know, how things are going.

University applications have stressed me out a lot. In the middle of January I applied to five UK universities through UCAS. So far I have received three conditional offers, one rejection and… probably will receive another rejection, which makes me wonder, if choosing BA in Creative writing was a good idea in the first place. However, my favorite university offered me the place almost immediately and, even though they did not ask for a writing example, I am excited that they gave me a chance. I will not reveal the name of the university yet but all I can say right now is that it is located in incredibly beautiful place, has a lot of student societies, lovely and affordable dorms and wonderful Fresher’s week events. Even though applying to uni abroad seems a little hectic, I can not wait until I am done and, in a way, starting my life over. New town, new school, new friends and… new me.

Current school is making me very unhappy. I notice that I do not fit in at all and the thing is – I do not want to. However, I would rather get away from it all as quick as possible than dwell in this routine. Lessons do not excite me anymore – most musical subject are way too dry and boring. Most people around me seem completely different from me. No one likes to read, no one is interested in self-improvement, no one is writing a blog… Nothing. I feel like a swan between pigeons. When it comes to self-expression in music, I have completely made up my mind to get higher education in some other subject. I am just not charismatic and extroverted enough to succeed. I feel like I am completely failing at what I do and no one helps me to get out of it. Anyways, there are just three months left, so I am counting down days.

Love, oh love… Does it still exists nowadays? I feel like most people do not know what love even is, they just assume they know what it is. Communication between people, especially women and men is fucked up. Women feel too much but men are repulsed by emotional women. It is like they want some kind of blow-up doll, who could also cook and clean the house. Anything else? Meaningless. Just God forbid you tell them, how you really feel. They are disgusted by vulnerability and affection. Romantic type of love seems to have died out. However, there is a certain male person, whose name I will not mention with who I can be myself. No, we are not a couple and we will never be. We are not even in love. Maybe we are just friends, who lack a certain type of intimacy, so get it from each other. (And no, I am not talking only about sex.) He does not get repulsed when I am emotional, he calms me down instead. Surprisingly, he even like how I play the guitar. I have never met someone, whose occupation in not creative and who enjoys the music I perform that much. I am not in love but I simply appreciate him. Life has weird ways of introducing you with people, who later gain meaning in your life. He is one of them. Maybe, after I graduate, I will never see him again but I will be thankful that I once knew him. He is the reason I still do not believe that “all men are the same”.

I am getting addicted to writing. A little more than a month ago I bought beautiful hardcover notebook. I, just like many others, have a weakness for blank, beautiful and thick notebooks. I might have ten of them at home but I will still buy one more just because writing certain things in a certain notebook feels right. So, I bought the notebook to grow my writing habit. To make it a little harder, I decided to write in it only in English. I started out with a page or half page a day but now I can write several pages each day and still want more. The point of this is to make my language flow more easily, get used to writing in English and get rid of perfectionism. It is so easy to stumble upon words, trying to find the right one and get stuck because of the feeling that nothing you write will ever be good enough. Screw that feeling. Sometimes the only way to write something great is to “vomit” words and feelings all over the page and edit it later. If you love writing but still have not developed the habbit of doing it every day, this is your chance. Start like I did – slowly but fearfully. And read a lot to keep your thoughts and ideas fresh.

That is all I have to say for today. I will just pick up my writing journal and brain dump some more thoughts in to it because nothing is as satisfying as that. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

Health and body image update: part one.

woman in workout clothes, stretching on the sidewalk

Hello, dear readers! I’m publishing this post a little later than expected because life is not exactly a long walk on the beach and with all the things happening in my life, it was hard to find a time to write a post. Yet, here I am. Just twenty-four hours ago I was sure that I want to whine about how stressful my life is right now but then remembered Dolls Have Hearts is really not the right place for that. I will whine in my personal notes later, however today I came here to talk about something more positive that is going on.

I do not know, if I mentioned earlier in any of the posts but since December I started working out again and since January I’m back on track again. Many months ago I kind of fell off the track of working out, constantly told myself that I am too busy and/or tired to do that until I stopped working out at all. The worst thing is that I even told myself I am better off without it. I had lost most of the muscle gains I got during two years of training but still maintained about the same weight. For a while I did not really care until certain thoughts started crossing my mind. Am I still healthy? Do I eat healthy? Should I eat less sweets? Do I eat too much in general? Maybe I should start working out again? Two months later (in December) I finally decided to get myself together and get healthy again. It was not easy to get back on track but I did it.

This time I created more compact and balanced workout plan. I had few exercises under categories: butt exercises, arm exercises, ab exercises, other exercises and yoga. First three included one exercise for each specific area, for example, glutes but the last one was just few yoga poses to do at the end of workout to strengthen my body in general and calm down. Let me tell you, Warrior 2 – that’s a real killer. You might think it is not a big deal to get in that pose but holding it is a real challenge.

One thing that I just recently learned to do is enjoying not only the results but also the process. Ever since I started going to PE lessons at school, I hated them more or less the whole time. And I hate them the most right now – in middle school. Just to make this clear – I hate lessons not exercising in general. PE lessons in my school mostly include team sports and just a tiny bit of strength training. Whenever we have strength training and some useful exercises, our teacher rarely explains, how to do them the right way and they all happen in such a rush because no one’s really interested in doing them or, even more, enjoying the process. What’s the result? Well, injuries and / or terribly sore muscles in all the wrong places for next 5 – 6 days. But enough about that.

The last thing I wanted to do for the part one of this health update is share my current workout plan. Yes, it is self-made but I am careful enough not to push myself too hard and injure myself. I have categorized them and written in random order. When I actually work out, I just mix them up.

Ab exercises:

  • 30 crunches
  • 30 bicycle crunches
  • 30 leg lifts (while lying on back)
  • 30 raised leg, bent knee crunches
  • Boat pose (holding as long as I can, 3 times)
  • Side plank (both sides for at least 1 minute)

Butt exercises:

  • 15 fire hydrants (for each leg)
  • 30 straight leg raises (while laying on stomach)
  • 30 bent leg raises (while laying on stomach)
  • 30 both bent leg raises (while laying on stomachs)
  • 30 donkey kicks
  • 30 hip raises

Arm exercises:

  • 45 bent over row (with 1 kg dumbbells)
  • 45 shoulder presses (same weights)
  • 45 (unidentified exercise, couldn’t find the name)
  • 45 (one more unidentified exercise)

Yoga poses:

  • Tree pose 1 (holding as long as I can, mostly 2 mins on each leg)
  • Warrior 2 (holding as long as I can; about 20 secs each leg for now)

Other:

  • 30 jumping jacks

Also, I haven not forgotten about warm ups and cool downs but I decided not to mention them here. Anyways, that’s about it for my current workout routine. I try to do it 3 – 4 times a week. The best thing about it? Even though I feel a little sweaty after it, there’s barely any soreness the next day, most of the time there’s none at all. That is it for part one of my health update.

Do you do any of these exercises I have mentioned? And how often do you work out? Let me know in the comments. 🙂 Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

The less visible sister of fat shaming – skinny shaming.

Skinny girl with brown hair in sports gear, walking

Hello, dear readers! By now I think you have all heard of fat shaming. Curvy people, especially women have raised awareness about it a lot during last few years. It is no secret that media has been pushing the image of “perfect woman” onto us for quite a long time. We are still drowning in magazine articles about getting beach body and different diets that will help us lose x amount of pounds every month. However, there is one side of body shaming that has not been covered as much and it is skinny shaming. Yes, that is really a thing! Why am I writing about this? Well, because I have been fat shamed as well as skinny shamed.

During my childhood years I was somewhere in the middle – not really chubby but also not skinny. However, I despised PE lessons and ate what ever I wanted, so I was no way considerable as the fit one. Being a kid and hating sports was not cool at all, so I quickly became the main object of mockery in my school. Most of my bullies were boys, who were skinny and loved sports. They could eat all the junk food in the world and still stay the same way. However, if I would eat too much pizza or cookies, my body would show it after some time. I was a girl and being tall and thin was not in my genes. I was jealous at girls, who were like that. The self consciousness made me feel terrible about my thighs, who seemed way too thick at the time (I mean, how thick can be thighs of a ten-year old, who is not overweight?) and small stomach roll that I had while sitting down. For nine years straight I was laughed at because of my body and fat shamed almost every day. It did not mater, if I tried eating less or dressing differently – I was still the ugly, weird and fat kid. This nightmare ended after middle school.

About a year before graduating from middle school I started working out. Of course, results did not show that quickly but I was getting there. After middle school I decided to continue my studies in a different city and different school. Things seemed to get better – my schoolmates did not care about my looks at all and the fat shaming was over. However, soon after that when my workout results finally started showing, I experienced something as uncomfortable which was skinny shaming. As I continued to workout, my stomach rolls disappeared, hip bones, ribs and collar bones started showing a little bit more. I was eating healthier than before and still had normal BMI, however, my parents started getting worried with no apparent reason. I started getting a lot of comments from them that I workout too much and suggested me to workout less and eat more. I could not understand their reaction. I finally started feeling better about my body after all the fat shaming and now this? My parents have never been on the thin side, so this fact made me nervous from early childhood. Will I look like this when I grow up? I didn’t want to. I wanted to be like one of those fit, happy girls you can see on Pinterest and Instagram. Why was is such a bad idea? My parents should have been happy that I wasn’t one of those girls, who look at thinspo every day and starve themselves.

During last  4 years I’ve been working out and eating healthier but their remarks didn’t stop. Especially from my dad. I wanted to feel better about my body and love it but comments like: “You should eat more. Your breasts have become smaller. Your hip bones are showing too much. Your ribs are showing too much. Are you trying to starve yourself? The way you look isn’t healthy. Stop starving yourself. Stop working out so much.” made me insecure and unhappy. You might think that having a slimmer body would make me more confident. It didn’t. I still listened to what people are saying about it. I felt insecure about my hip bones and the fact that I sometimes got bruises on them after workouts, I felt stressed out because I couldn’t find pants that fit me just right. Most of them were too tight in the area of my thighs and too loose around my waist. I felt insecure about my breasts that were never too big but now got even smaller. I was jealous to girls, who could wear nice lingerie, push up bras and actually have something to put inside them. I was almost flat, I still am.

I shouldn’t hate my body, I should love it and you should do the same with yours. It’s okay to have thick thighs, it’s okay to have tiny breasts, it’s okay have boyish body with no curves or very curvy one without small waist. I’m here to tell you what no one has told me – love your body the way it is now. It doesn’t matter, if people tell you that you’re too skinny, too muscular or too chubby. There is no such thing as perfect bikini body and you shouldn’t stress about getting it. There is not one universal body shape everyone should and would be able to fit. No matter what body type you have, it has its own beauty. Stop listening to media and society in general, who’s telling you that you need an ass like Kim Kardashian or body like Keira Knightley, or that you can’t wear crop tops because your stomach isn’t perfectly flat. Wear what makes you feel good, don’t torture yourself in order to look like someone else. You already have a full package of what you need. Sure, you can do some ab workouts or squats, eat more veggies and treat it like a temple but… never take it for granted. You are beautiful in your own skin – embrace it here and now.

That’s all for this week’s blog post. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as enjoyed writing it. See you next week with another great article. 🙂

Love, Porcelain Doll.

The real reason I’m not very active on social media.

girl looking at her smartphone and smiling

Hello, dear readers! Today I wanted to talk to you about something more personal instead of sharing inspiring content. Real talk is necessary sometimes, too. If you’ve been following me on Twitter, Facebook, Bloglovin, Instagram or Pinterest, you may have noticed that I’m not very consistent at posting and I don’t post as often as I should have. A lot of bloggers are often active on social media, interract with their fans and are happy to be on those platforms. Well, not me. If you have been following Dolls Have Hearts for a while, you know that blogging isn’t the only or main thing in my life. I love writing with all my heart but I still have priorities like graduating from Music high school and a day job. Those priorities need quite a lot of socializing and energy, so when I finally come home after a lonnng day away, I’m exhausted. And, as an introvert, when I’m exhausted, the last thing I want to do is dive in Twitter or Instagram, see what drama everyone’s been interested in right now and how amazing everyone’s lives are.

I know that social media takes huge role in bloggers’ lives but… it really overwhelms me. Even if I’d use social media post scheduler, it still means I have to think about what kind of content to post and it takes time. The fact that I haven’t been consistent with blogging and posting on social media before makes me even more stressed. Although, on a positive note, I’m proud that one month of 2018 has almost passed and I’ve successfuly posted on my blog every single week without failing. Besides – I’ve posted only quality content. No more ranting posts in here like it used to be few years ago. Anyways, back to the topic of social media. Until this time I’ve been trying to stay active on Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Bloglovin and Instagram because I thought – than more sites I used, than more new visitors I can bring to my site. Well, not really. The key is posting quality content consistently not only on blog but also on social media sites. For example, if I’d pin 5 pins a week,  pin each day and then disappear for few days, I couldn’t grow my Pinterest following at all. People follow each other for a reason – they expect new and exciting content regularly. You get the point. I have no problem with Pinterest because I find a lot of inspiration there but Facebook and Twitter is kind of tough. If not the blog page on Facebook, the only thing I use it for is keeping in touch with my friends and relatives. That’s it. When it comes to Twitter – I used to be a huge fan of it about 4 – 5 years ago, mainly because of the chance to see what my favorite celebrities like Lady GaGa or Taylor Swift are up to.

So, in general, social media for me is good only in small doses and mainly for entertainment purposes. Except Pinterest. Pinterest is life. However, I deleted my Instagram account because the pressure to keep posting regularly pictures from my life, which does not feel that exciting most of the time, was too overwhelming. And seeing my follower count drop as soon as I couldn’t find time and content to post wasn’t exciting. You have probably heard a lot about uncluttering, removing stuff from your life that doesn’t make you happy. Mostly those videos and blog posts tell you about throwing out old clothes, broken stuff etc which is a great idea. I decided to take this a little further and get rid of social media that doesn’t make me happy and deleted my Instagram. Bloglovin is still debatable, however, Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook will stay. I don’t make a promise to post every day on all of these accounts because I would not be able to keep it. I will stay as active as I can and do my best – that’s all I can say.

I truly appreciate every single person, who takes his or her time in the day to read my blog, like the latest post and comment. It means a lot to be heard. It means a lot to be relatable, helpful and inspiring – that’s the message I will continue spreading. Thank you for being here. My blog wouldn’t be the same without any of you.

 

Love, Porcelain Doll.

Blog update: dollshavehearts.com will be launched soon!

SAVE TREES

Hello, dear readers! You’ve probably been wondering where have I gone and why is my blog so inactive. Of course, like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I’ve been very busy with school and work which, honestly, sometimes tends to suck all the creativity out of me. However, I recently decided to quit one of my jobs, so I’ll be working there only until the middle of December and after that I will have more free time. Why did I decide to quit? That’s kind of a long story but I decided that if, no matter how dedicated I was to the job, someone in a higher position repeatedly treats me like shit by not helping me with things I don’t understand, slandering me, telling me how terrible I am at doing my job and yelling at me, I don’t need to endure it. Enough about the job for now, I might go in depth about it in some of my future posts but right now I will tell you what I have in mind for this blog for 2018.

I finally feel ready to make this blog more professional, interesting and successful. I am planning to upgrade it to WordPress Premium, start being active on all of my social media accounts, which include Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram and most importantly – post lots of exciting content. I have finally figured out who exactly I am writing this blog for, what I am writing about and why I am even writing it. So – great news, this blog is going to get a huge upgrade and start looking like one of those neat, pretty lifestyle blogs that are full of great content. The estimated relaunch of Dolls Have Hearts is planned on January 1st but let’s see how it goes.

For now I am going to focus on getting blog ready for the relaunch. I have to write enough posts for at least a month forward to publish and I’ll try my best to post at least 2 times a week in 2018. At the moment I am super guilty about writing my blog posts the very last minute and even though the quality is good, I don’t have any posts scheduled for the future and that messes with my consistency. I also have to think about the way site looks and figure out the content to post on social media. If you’re a blogger, you already know, how important it is to stay active on social media and post not only your recent blog content but also other things your audience might be interested in. So, just because I have to do a lot of preparation, there might be very few or no posts at all this year. Don’t be sad – better content is yet to come!

If you have any suggestions about what you’d like to see more of on this blog or if you have anything important to note about upgrading your blog, monetizing it and making exciting for the readers, feel free to comment below! I’ve read a lot of information on how to build a successful blog but some extra advice won’t hurt. Also, if you’re a blogger, who recently relaunched and/or monetized your site, share your experience in the comments! I will really appreciate it.

P.S. Thank you all for following my blog and interracting in the comment section. It means the world to me that my opinion is important to you and that my view of life is relatable.

Love, Porcelain Doll.

 

Why I’m not blogging as much as I used to.

Hello, dear readers! For about first 3 weeks of school year I felt super excited that it’s the last year of school and I have a job which means I’ll finally earn some money myself. Do you know those moments in your life when you’re telling yourself that you’re starting over fresh and you can do anything? I had this moment at the beginning. But then, about 5 weeks later I realized that living the life I want is not completely possible.

Studying hard

First and the biggest cause of my creative block is school. It’s my 4th year in music high-school which I was impatiently waiting for, somehow hoping that in this year everything will get better. Why shouldn’t it be like that? No more Math lessons which should have meant no more torturous lessons I’m not interested in. Sadly, I was mistaken. In 3rd year of high school at least I had Literature lessons that made me feel inspired and interested and even English that, despite of having a shitty teacher, I still liked as a subject. This year I can’t really name any subject that would fascinate me and I just feel stuck in the wrong place. I know that I am supposed to feel relieved that I have only 7 months left but those are 7 boring months that, honestly feel like a waste of time. I want to read great books, I want to write, travel and study something I’m interested in but I just can’t get out. Not even on weekends – there is still a pile of homework that I have to get done but see no point in it. It’s interesting , how just yesterday I heard in one of Skillshare classes that if you’re having too much stimulation from the outside world, your mind and imagination feels kind of suppressed and you start to feel less creative. That explains my situation a lot. So that’s how my inspiration is taken away. It’s nearly impossible to fake your interest in a subjects that you just don’t care about.

Work tends to be overwhelming. I agreed to take two teaching jobs because I hope that maybe my calling is teaching instead of performing. Of course, I’m thankful for one gifted student of mine and few other that are doing the best they can but working with all other kids that are bored of playing the guitar or don’t have abilities to be good at it is exhausting. Every time I have a lesson with someone, who just not into it, I feel sad that instead of improving my own guitar skills, I’m wasting time with hopeless kid. I’m still wondering, if having two jobs was the right choice for me even more because in one of those workplaces, I’m having a colleague in a higher position, who is very unhelpful and rude person in general.

I don’t know where I want to be in my life but it’s not where I am right now. Please know that I will post when I have some quality content to post and I might not stick to a regular schedule during this school year. However, my heart belongs to writing and I really like my little blog. Huge thanks to everyone, who follows me and cares about the content that I post, it means the world to me. Just so you know – I’m not going anywhere and I’ll do my best to make this blog better but for now it is kind of tricky.

Hopefully I’ll be back soon with some movie reviews and other exciting and positive stuff. Thanks for sticking with me!

Love, Porcelain Doll.