5 simple yet awesome summer date ideas to try.

a silhouette of a couple at the beach during sunset

Hello, dear readers! I am writing this blog post in the afternoon of Wednesday and maybe you have started wondering, what has occupied my mind so much that I can focus on anything else, not even sleeping. I would not call it love just yet but… at the beginning of July I met someone and we have been seeing each other ever since. Our first date lasted for 24 hours, we never run out of topics to talk about and the more I spend time with him, the more I want to see him again. Hanging out with him seems completely natural and I have never felt so comfortable with a guy ever before. I do not have to stress about every sentence that I say or that I am bothering him by texting first, or that he might be repulsed, if I ever forget to shave my legs. Surprisingly we have started this lovely, no-bullshit relationship, things are going very well and I decided to share some of my favorite date ideas we have made come true or plan to do so very soon.

  1. Cooking each other’s favorite foods for each other for dinner. Super simple yet lovely. For some random reason I, who does not like to cook all by myself, enjoy working as a team and cooking together. I love observing, how good we can work together and find compromises.
  2. Going out to a club. Okay, this might not be for everyone because most people prefer to go clubbing with their friends. I, however, do not like weird dudes hitting on me, so I am bringing my own guy with me for two reasons – I always have someone to dance with, who will not ditch me for someone else and I feel safe.
  3. Going on a road trip to another city, perhaps even abroad. This is something we have not done yet but plan to do in near future, so I am very excited already. What is even more fun – we are planning to bring his best friend with his girlfriend along, too. So that mixes this date idea and the next one I am planning to mention into one.
  4. Any kind of double date. I think, we accidentally had one when my friends called me last minute and I had to change my plans for them but I did not want to leave my boyfriend hanging. I figured out that it might be fun to bring him along and turns out that was a great idea because my friends really liked him, too.
  5. Movie night. Do not even argue – nothing beats same old movie night at home. You do not have to pay a way too much money for tickets, you can bring your own snacks and cuddle while enjoying the film. Side note – this can be combined with no 1 and/or no 4.
  6. Bonus idea: Go to the beach. I bet you did not expect to see more than 5 date ideas but… surprise! This one is no brainer but it is way more fun than doing it alone. And, knowing me, I do not go to beach alone, like, ever and have a weird habit of procrastinating on doing things because “ah, I have other stuff to do and this one will not be that fun anyways”.

Anyways, I am ending this list here because my thoughts are drifting away to other stuff and I am few scrolls away from falling down the rabbit hole of Pinterest because looking for new date ideas can be addicting. Hopefully any of these ideas will be useful for you. If not and you are single – keep hoping that your future partner is somewhere out there, waiting for you. I already thought that I have been betrayed so much that I will not be able to open my heart for someone ever again but here I am. I have actually met someone, who likes me for who I am and treats me like a real guy should treat a girl. I am sending positive vibes your way and until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

Leaving the closet: a confession of a bisexual. #PrideMonth

hands of a woman on the laptop keyboard and a white cup of tea on the table beside her

Hello, dear readers! This is probably the most exciting and nerve wrecking post I have ever written on my blog, so it explains why I am publishing in the evening of Wednesday but I just thought…. it’s time. If you didn’t already know that, June is Pride Month where people of different sexualities are celebrating simply being their true selves. If you are straight, there’s a big chance you feel like LGBT+ community is just shoving all the ways they are different down your throat. Maybe you are upset because heterosexuals aren’t celebrating their sexuality the same way. But… why should they? Being straight is like a default setting. You don’t have to come out to your friends and/or family, you don’t have to hide that you have a crush on someone as an adult because that counts as “normal”.

So, I am not going to stretch out the intro of this post any longer and will just say what I wanted to say. I am bisexual and I am fully comfortable with it. I like guys and girls the same way which, however, doesn’t mean that I like both genders equally. If you are a bisexual as well, you will know that this can fluctuate. At some point you might like guys more, at some point – girls, at some point both of these genders equally. Before I get into my own personal story, I will just clear out few more stereotypes out of the way, so we can continue this conversation in a non-judgemental atmosphere.

  • “Bisexuals are just greedy, they want to have “the best of both worlds”. I bet you didn’t expect this to be coming but there are actually a lot of monogamous bisexuals out there, some of them are even happily married.
  • “But if you date the same-sex partner right now, you must be homosexual or if you have a partner of opposite gender, you are straight.” Wrong. Sexuality is about who you can experience romantic and/or sexual attraction towards to, not who you date at the moment.
  • “Bisexual people most likely have crushes on their same-sex friends.” This is something that I have noticed in girl friendships – there are some straight girls, who are just attached to the idea that if I am bisexual, I have a crush on them. No, just no. Please, get over yourself. If a straight girls has a bunch of guy friends, do you think she has a crush on most or all of them? I don’t think so.
  • “All bisexuals must love the idea of a threesome.” Ummm, no. Don’t assume that we are interested in that way more than people with different sexual orientations. A lot of us put love first and are not up to crazy sexual experiments just because we can experience sexual attraction towards both genders.
  • “You are gay but just won’t admit it.” Although some homosexuals for certain reasons pretend to be bisexual for a while, it doesn’t mean that all bisexual people are secretly gay.

And now, when I have cleared some of the most annoying myths about bisexuality, we can get to my story. Growing up I felt pretty much like a typical straight girl. I remember watching romantic movies with my mum, cringing a lot but still picturing in my head that one day I will meet my Prince Charming with dark hair, piercing blue eyes and cute dimples in his cheeks. To make it even more cliché, I imagined him in an expensive suit and having great manners. Little did I know that this fantasy is way too far from the reality and most men in the world just don’t suit this ideal male version I created in my head. However, when I was a kid there was no doubt that my ideal partner could be anything but a man.

During my teen years some barely noticeable clues popped up here and there but I didn’t think too much of it. Every now and then my eyes lingered a little longer on attractive guys as well as girls but that was it. I still kissed only boys and first person I fell in love with and had sort of relationship with was a guy. Until one time about a year ago when I developed a huge crush on a woman and the way I felt was no different from having a crush on a guy felt. I still experienced a whole rollercoaster of emotions – from warm happiness that was caused by interesting conversations we had to sadness and confusion which made me cry in my pillow cause I didn’t know, how to tell her, how I feel. I will not get into details on who she is and how we met cause, like she said when I finally confessed to my feelings, my crush is more about me than her. Even though our feelings weren’t mutual, I was glad that we didn’t cut off contact completely and I’m simply thankful for this experience in general. If life is all about self discovery, then at that point I discovered something new about myself.

Enough time has passed for me to accept this part of myself and now I feel confident enough to share it with the world. I have shared this with people, who are the closest to me and I’m lucky that most of them are completely accepting. I may not participate in Pride yet but speaking about this on my blog is one of the first steps towards accepting another part of me. Another reason why I am sharing this is to inspire you to embrace yourself, no matter who you are. Sexuality is something natural and beautiful that no one should be ashamed about. Don’t listen to anyone, who says that there is something wrong with you, if you are not straight. Love is love and love between two men or two women can be as beautiful and pure as love between a man and a woman. Also, we live in 21st century and there are so many shamelessly proud examples from LGBT+ community between celebrities, such as Halsey, Shailene Woodley, Megan Fox, Nico Tortorella, Sia, Lady GaGa, Alan Cumming and many more. Be proud of who you are. If you feel the need to come out and it’s safe – do it! If not, it’s fine and you are still as valid as everyone else, who is already “out of the closet”.

I will end this post here but you can definitely expect more LGBT+ related posts on my blog in the future. Happy Pride Month (or what’s left of it) and I will see you next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

5 reasons why I stopped using Tinder and other dating apps.

Brunette, sitting on a bench, holding a smartphone in her hand with white headphones laying beside her

Hello, dear readers! If you are anywhere below the age of eighteen, you are probably familiar with the hype about dating apps. Tinder, Match.com , OkCupid, HotOrNot, Happn, Once and many more apps are right at out fingertips and during the teenage years it might seem that if you are still single when you turn eighteen, you might actually find someone decent online. No more worrying about very few options to pick from. When I turned eighteen, I felt excited, too. Not because I could finally buy some wine or beer (although that’s also great) but because I could finally start using these popular dating apps that everyone was talking about. Don’t get me wrong – I was not obsessed with finding someone just so I don’t die alone. I was just bored and wanted to find someone to have interesting conversations with. However, after about a year of trying out different apps I gave up and here are five reasons, why I did it.

  1. I hate small talk. Guys on dating apps don’t have any conversation skills. In worst case I don’t even get a message. In a better case scenario I get simple “hey”. (Is that really all you have got? You definitely know, how to impress a girl.) And in best case scenario (which is not great anyway) I get “Hey, how are you doing?” or “Hey, you’re so sexy.” At first I thought that this happens only on apps like Tinder, who seem to be used mainly for hookups but turns out it’s a pretty common thing on every dating app.
  2. A lot of dating apps that are seemingly free, include paid upgrades that allow to send unlimited messages, view profiles etc. I’m so tired of this bullshit. Stop advertising a certain dating app as completely free, if it’s not. No one likes to create an account in hopes of meeting someone just discover later that they can’t send a message to their crush cause they don’t have a “premium membership”.
  3. I believe that all long-lasting relationships start out as friendships. And by long-lasting I mean at least 5 years, that’s the very minimum. The thing is – no one on dating sites is looking for a friendship, they are pretty straightforward right away. I, on the other hand, am a demisexual (which means I’m experiencing sexual attraction towards someone only when I have formed emotional bond with that person) don’t know right away, if I will want to engage in sexual activity with a certain person and I don’t want to rush it. To me chemistry should happen before physical intimacy, not afterwards. Sadly, most people, especially guys, think the opposite way.
  4. They’re full of catfishes and underage people. That’s the biggest risk of dating online – everyone can be, whoever he or she wants to me. Fifteen year olds can pretend they are twenty and the guy next door can pretend that he looks like Ansel Elgort. You may never know, if a person you are talking to is telling you the truth. Some people install dating apps just because they’re bored, some because they want to catfish others, some just are too curious and decide not to obey the rules (underage people!). Either way, that makes the mission of finding the perfect match even more impossible.
  5. Personality tests to help you find your perfect match are pretty much useless. So what, if someone doesn’t smoke, is caucasian, likes to go on coffee dates and is a cat person? That still doesn’t mean that we will get along. Sure, so-called personality tests are simply interesting to fill out but do they really increase your chances of meeting your ideal partner? I highly doubt that. It’s just another scam to make you more interested in certain dating app and assure you that somehow it’s better than all the others.

So those are five main reasons why I decided to stop using dating apps. I could rant more about their uselessness but I think that I already gave you enough reasons in this post. From now on I will just simply focus on being more present and meeting people in person. To tie this post with the previous one – life is not what happens on your phone. It’s what happens around you while you are too busy swiping and double tapping. Live here and now! However, if you actually have dating app success story and you disagree with my opinion, feel free to share your thoughts in comment section. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

 

“Liberated: the new sexual revolution” – shocking and eye-opening must see documentary.

Blonde girl with sunglasses at the beach party
Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6710214/mediaviewer/rm4063704576

Hello, dear readers! I really thought I should not post so many movie reviews on my blog because it would literally turn it into a movie review blog but this movie just turned my world upside down. Anyone, who knows me well, knows that I am not the type of person, who loves documentaries but this… hits pretty close to home to everyone, who is 14 to 30 years old. And, because Dolls Have Hearts readers are in that age group, I just had to review this. This is not a usual movie review like the ones I have posted before. This is a life-changing movie. So, let’s dive right in!

I found out about this movie few days ago and the trailer didn’t look very promising. For some reason I thought that this movie will show that hook-up culture is okay and that’s just how things are in 21st century. Thankfully, it did not. I really liked that this movie was divided into several parts – a male perspective into hook-up culture, a female perspective into hook-up culture and several others. Even though the truth made me cringe and cry a lot, it was so brilliant just because it was very realistic. There is so much pressure on young people nowadays. Girls are expected to look like models on magazine covers because it seems that they can only be cool and good enough, if they are desired. Boys, on the other hand, are expected to have sex with as many possible because somehow it is one of the ways, how they can show off their manliness. The more women they have sex with, the more desirable they become. I can see this ideology existing in modern world but I still don’t understand, how we have become these animals, who have made sex and sexuality this huge, important thing that basically shows our value. I can’t even put into words, how fucked up this is.

Even though I have never been on of those girls, who are always desired by most guys, I know very well, how it feels to “be on the other side”. From early teen years I have realized that, if I am not sexually appealing in the eyes of the opposite sex (mostly her peers), no one will look at me twice. No one will talk to me, everyone will laugh at my clothes, body, the way I smile, talk and move. I am automatically treated like not good enough and like I don’t deserve love in general. At the same time I have seen those desirable girls around me. Do you think they were treated like queens? No, never. They were girls, who used to show as much skin as possible just to fit in and hang out with boys. Those were girls, who let boys touch their breasts behind the curtains at school discos and who often couldn’t even walk because they got too drunk, trying to prove guys that they are cool. They were the ones, who got fucked and made fun of later. So, it looks like no matter on which side you are, you can’t win.

Talking about boys – it was hard for me to understand their point of view until I saw this movie. I always thought they were just born evil and truly enjoyed sleeping with any girl they could get their hands on and then slut shaming them afterwards. It’s like… they were not really human. After watching “Liberated: the new sexual revolution”, I kind of started to realize that they are also in a very unpleasant situation. So much pressure is put on them, too. A guy can either choose to be the undesirable virgin, who gets bullied at school or a seemingly heartless player, who is pressure into sleeping with as many girls as possible just to be cool in the eyes of his friends. No matter what they do, they can’t win either.

Now that I have briefly told you what the movie is about and what are my thoughts on the hook-up culture that it describes, here is the trailer.  If you are in your teen years or in your twenties, I’d highly suggest you to watch this documentary. It explains so much of what is happening with young adults all around the world right now. In a fucked up way, indeed but still. Just watch it.

Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

 

 

 

#MythbusterMonday : the truth and lies about virginity.

#MythbusterMonday

Hello, dear readers! Today is the day I wanted to talk to you about something which you most likely had awkward conversations about with you parents. Losing virginity, popping the cherry – call it what you want but it was always such a huge mystery, at least during my childhood. I could never understand why you “had to” do it with someone only after wedding, why it would be so painful and why the heck, if that was so painful, someone would want to have sex again. After all the talk my parents gave me (which, honestly, wasn’t a lot) I started to think that first sex must be some kind of nightmare-ish experience. Only later in life I realized that those things were big, fat lies that most parents are used to telling their daughters in 21st century w slutin which slut shaming is completely okay. God forbid, if a woman will lose her virginity before marriage and actually enjoy sex, or have more than one sex partner during her lifetime.

Why am I telling this to you? I’m telling this to clear some lies all the people, who haven’t had sex yet might believe in and spread sex positivity. Sex talk shouldn’t be awkward and first sex shouldn’t be scary and painful. Thankfully, I learned the truth about virginity before losing mine and it definitely made my life way easier. Side note: I will lose the phrase “losing virginity” and the word “virginity” in quotation marks because that’s not even a thing. Believe me, it’s not. It’s just a construct society created. If you’re thirsty for more explanation, let’s dive right in!

  1. First time for a girl is always painful and probably bloody, too. Oh, hell no! No matter what your mother, sister or whoever has told you – that is not true. If first time hurts, you’re probably doing something wrong. Maybe he’s too rough, maybe there wasn’t enough foreplay, so you’re not wet enough or maybe you’re not relaxed enough. If you are worrying about not getting wet enough naturally, don’t be afraid to use lube. Go slow the first time and be vocal, if something doesn’t feel right!
  2. Hymen covers vagina completely and, when you “lose your virginity”, you break it. Wrong. First of all, hymens are different: there are normal, septate (two vaginal openings instead of one), microperforate (small vaginal opening) and imperforate (hymen completely covers vagina) hymens. In a standard case, you hymen will just stretch out, not break. So, that explains why most likely your first time won’t be painful, if you’re doing everything right. Also, if the hymen would cover your vagina completely, how would you menstruate properly?
  3. Hymen is located inside of your vagina. No, it partially covers the vaginal opening. The thing with this myth is – even a lot of dudes believe in this. What a shame. Why this isn’t something that is explained in Sex Ed?
  4. You can only “lose virginity” by being penetrated. This was confusing to me the whole time. I couldn’t understand, if that’s how a girl loses virginity, how do lesbians lose their virginity then? Do they keep it forever? Maybe it’s possible to lose V-card by getting fingered? Too much confusion in here. That was until I realized that first sex technically is no different from any other time you have sex. Well, except for the fact that it’s your very first experience and you don’t know that well what to do and what not to do.
  5. “Losing virginity” is only acceptable with you spouse. Why, though? How does a paper and a ring change someone’s rights to engage into sexual activity with me or not? Why does marriage matter? Sex is not a sin and something you should feel ashamed about. There are few things you should take into consideration before having sex with someone for the first time but marriage is not one of them. (Sorry, Christians, I didn’t mean to offend you!) If you feel comfortable with someone, know them well enough, maybe are even in love with them and want to go for it, do it! Just don’t forget about protection.
  6. “Doing it” changes your life a lot. No, not really. You’ve just discovered something very enjoyable, that’s it. And maybe, just maybe, gained a tiny bit of confidence and lots of extra naughty thoughts in your head.
  7. You can’t use tampons, if you’re a “virgin”. Look at the second myth. Your hymen probably doesn’t completely cover your vagina, so you can actually use tampons before you have “done the deed”. Although, at ages 11 to 14 that might be slightly uncomfortable, so, if you want to use those, go with smaller ones. Either way – you can’t “pop your cherry” with tampon because, as I said, virginity is not a physical thing. It’s just a construct society has created.
  8. Having sex with someone before marriage doesn’t make you dirty or a slut. Don’t believe what society say. Your sexuality is a part of you that you should embrace, instead of being ashamed about it. If you want to have sex with someone, do it! If you want to wait until your first love or marriage, do that!

So here are all the myths about virginity I’ve heard during my early teen years. I even believed in some of those and they confused the hell out of me. I just wish someone would have told be the truth from the very beginning. That wouldn’t make me start having sex earlier but it would make everything clearer.

In a nutshell, virginity is not a physical thing – it’s a social construct that was created to control women and what they do with their bodies. If you have sex, there is no definite way to tell, if you’re a “virgin” or not. If you want to have sex with someone – go for it, as long as you’re safe. If you don’t – that’s fine. Don’t feel pressured by your peers. Only you should decide what to do and what not to do with your body. Just because someone starts having sex at the age of 15, doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Do what feels right for you and always use protection.

Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

5 reasons why single life is better than friends with benefits type of relationship.

Happy brunette in a sand coloured coat, enjoying autumn

Hello, dear readers! As you now know, with school and two teaching jobs my life is busier than ever which means I don’t have time for a proper relationship. I can’t exchange text messages with someone during the whole day because I have got so much more stuff to do and I need energy for that. However, that is just one of the reasons why I decided to try friends with benefits type of relationship. The other one is – I got my heart-broken for the first time about a year ago and then my word kind of got shattered in pieces. The person I trusted the most suddenly decided that an argument we had was serious enough just to end an undefined relationship we had. After the breakup (which was barely a breakup because we weren’t really together) and several months of excessive drinking I met someone. And, ironically, he kind of reminded me of the guy who broke my heart. Similar behaviour, similar sense of humor and the chemistry was just there. Soon after that I found myself in this well-known friends with benefits type of relationship. Who would have known? Me! A girl, who for many years was sure that I am a demisexual and relationships that are based on sex will never be a part of my life. For a while it seemed like a good idea but later I just realized that something is missing. And not just something – a lot of things. I wanted dates that included going out of the apartment, I wanted more attention and just… a bond that a person can only have when she or he is in love. I was not in love and after some time just got bored of him. So this finally brings us to the list of 5 reasons why single life is better than friends with benefits type of relationship. Let’s get started!

  1. No pregnancy scares. Well, I’m pretty sure that even women, who are in a committed, serious relationship experience those, if they are not ready for a child but let me tell you – getting pregnant when you don’t expect it from a guy you love is probably better than from a guy you don’t. No matter how careful you are, things still might happen, so, ironically, I am going to quote my mum and say: “The best way to avoid pregnancy is to not have sex.” I guess, I’ll just interpretate in my own way: “Don’t have sex with someone you are not in love with.”
  2. No stressing about ignored text messages. What is he doing? When are we going to meet? What if I’m pregnant? Why hasn’t replied? The honest truth about friends with benefits relationships is that most guys, who are interested in this relationship are fuckboys. Some of them might seem like nice guys at the beginning but that is just an illusion. So, don’t even get started with them or, if you already have started it, ditch him. He is not worth your time and is only going to waste it.
  3. Netflix and chill is better by yourself. Meeting up with him at first seems exciting but then it turns out the only place you two will meet is either at his place or yours. And, if he is a shady fuckboy, who has a girlfriend, then it’s just going to be your place. There’s nothing from with chilling at home but if it includes mostly sex and you two never leave your (or his) place together, then it becomes boring. And I am so not about that boredom, you feel me?
  4. Have more “me time”. Go to that spa, sleep longer, get your nails done, meet your girlfriends… Do whatever makes you happy instead of constantly waiting for his message, so you can arrange a meeting to fuck. There’s nothing wrong with good sex now and then but if it’s with a whiny dude, who’s probably cheating his girlfriend with you, it’s not worth it. It’s just not.
  5. No dealing with his excuses and other bullshit. At the beginning he might seem nice and perfect in every way but later he starts coming up with random excuses why he didn’t text back, why he can’t see you today or this week and the list goes on. From chill and funny dude he turns into a shady one and then it’s almost impossible to continue the relationship. Well, at least if you are like me, who can’t tolerate even the smallest amount of bullshit.

So those are all the reasons you should enjoy being single and avoid friends with benefits type of relationship. No matter, how disappointing it is, the scenario of movie “Friends with benefits” does not come true in real life. (I wish it would, though. Don’t you?) Casual relationships does seem fun at first but at the end, if you’re a girl, it’s probably not what you want in a long-term. Better keep living your life until you meet someone, who is honest with you, wants to travel with you and is as crazy about you as you are about this person. (Just pretend you did not detect high levels of cheesiness in the previous sentence.)

Have a great weekend and don’t forget to follow your heart.

Love, Porcelain Doll.

New crush and 25 silly thoughts you get along with it.

Girl with heart baloonsHello, dear readers! I don’t want to sound like thirteen years old version of myself but today I decided to talk about that time of your life when interesting, charming person appears in you life and – BAM! – you realize you have a crush on them. You are not quite in love with him or her but are convinced that in beneficial conditions you might fall for them. As you start slowly transferring from “having a crush” to “being in love” part, your brain most likely starts to come up with the weirdest thoughts and assure you that either you are destined to be with this person or you are plain dumb and making the biggest mistake of your life by just giving a small hint about your feelings towards this special person. Briefly said – there is a total shitshow in your head. So here are 20 silly and annoying thoughts you probably get when you start falling for someone.

  1. What if he/she is just super friendly in general and what I confused with flirting is just plain friendliness?
  2. What if he/she is not into girls/guys?
  3. What if I’m too young/old for this person to be romantically interested in me?
  4. What if I’m too straightforward while showing my interest and he/she is not even interested in me? Oh, what an embarrassment that would be!
  5. What if this person actually has a crush on me and I’m not showing enough interest in him/her? That way I risk losing a chance to ever be with my crush and someone else will take that chance instead.
  6. What if I’m not his/her type?
  7. What if I have done something wrong that changed this persons opinion about me?
  8. What if he/she is already in a relationship and isn’t looking for anything?
  9. What if he/she is already in a relationship and is looking only for a side piece?
  10. Why does it take so long for my crush to respond to my messages?
  11. Why are his/her responses so short?
  12. At which point I can get more personal in our conversations?
  13. What is that person with him/her in the picture? Are they just friends or…?
  14. Why he/she is so emotionless whenever we spend time together? Is my crush an actual Cyborg or just not interested?
  15. How can I find out his/her relationship status without making it too straightforward that I’m romantically interested?
  16. We haven’t talked in few days. Should I call or text first?
  17. I’m so done with hiding my feelings. I will tell my crush everything the next time we meet.
  18. Okay, looks like this person isn’t interested in me at all. I’m so done with him/her.
  19. Oh no! I was too immature/flirty/awkward in the last message I sent?
  20. Am I already friendzoned? If so, how do I know that?
  21. Should I try out my chances with someone else while I’m not sure about his/her feelings towards me?
  22. Does he/she even thinks about me?
  23. Do I even have a crush on him/her? Maybe this person is just my soulmate and future best friend because we definitely have a lot in common.
  24. Do long distance relationships ever work out? What if we become a couple and he/she starts cheating on me because I’m not around?
  25. What if he/she is single but someone else has a crush on this person? What if this random person is already making a move while I’m just sitting here and over-thinking?

Those are all the silly, weird and overwhelming thoughts that everyone could have in this confusing time of your life. I’m so thankful that the awkward, early teenage years have passed long ago and I don’t fancy anyone just because they have good looks and everyone likes them. To be honest, I’d rather delete that part of my life when I had terrible first crush at the age of 11 and later on – super awkward and sloppy first kiss with a guy I just met that day on cruise when I was 14 years old. Side note – we never talked again. However, being almost nineteen doesn’t mean that managing my love life has gotten much easier. I might not over-analize every glance from my crush and every text message but I’m still confused about a lot of things and that gave me an inspiration to make this list. But, looking from the positive side, even all the crushes that did not work out and the rollercoaster-like relationship that ended after few years made really good stories to remember.

Also, let me tell you a secret – the last and only relationship I have been in gave me an inspiration to write a book. I still remember, how few months after getting to know each other he said: “You should write a book about how we met.” I am sure that we wasn’t really serious about it that time but after everything ended and wounds have healed, I decided that writing a book is exactly what I am going to do. Our so-called relationships was one hell of a ride with its ups and downs and that’s why it would fit in a book so perfectly. However, the main idea of the book is not to idealize it and the whole “I met him and he changed me” part is just one of the few main things in it. That’s all I am going to tell you about the book because right now I am working on first rough draft and I don’t really want to jinx it. 🙂

That’s it for today’s post. Which thoughts on the list have you had while having a crush on someone? How did they impact your relationship with your “person of interest”?

Love, Porcelain Doll.