10 solo date ideas that will cheer you up this Valentine’s day.

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smiling girl with sunglasses at the beach

Hello, dear readers! Now, when this post is going live, it’s Valentine’s day already and, as we know, there are two types of people on Valentine’s day – couples and singles. Also, it’s widely known that singles must hate this day. We are brainwashed with the idea that our self worth depends only other people opinions about us and the amount of attention they give to us which is completely wrong and unhealthy. I am currently single, even though with a possibility of dating someone in a near future, and I’m not filled with joy on Valentine’s day either. To make the situation better, I decided to come up with few great solo date ideas for you and me to try. Admit it – doing these will be way better than drinking wine, eating ice cream and crying in front of a TV while watching “Titanic”. It’s time to stop feeling bad about your relationship status and enjoy the day like you deserve. So here are some of the best solo date ideas.

  1. Solo movie night with your favorite home-cooked food. Pick a movie or few from any genre except romance and cook something. Nothing quite tastes like self-made pizza, tomatoe soup or any other healthy version of a food you truly enjoy. Just stay away from junk food, don’t punish your body with that crap.
  2. Try out new restaurant you’ve neve been to. If you live in a city, this is a great opportunity to explore it. You don’t have to go to the fanciest restaurant nearby, just find a place you have never been to. Even better, if it has some foreign cousine and a dish you haven’t tried before.
  3. Buy yourself a nice piece of clothing, maybe even whole outfit. When was the last time you have felt like a godess in your clothes? Now is the right time to get that feeling back.
  4. Go to a movie or theatre play alone. Who said you always need someone to come with you? Looking from the bright side, this activity can be even more enjoyable without someone sitting next to you and commenting on everything that happens on the screen or on the stage. Side note: Try to avoid anything romantic, if you can.
  5. Go to a pilates, yoga or zumba class. Or anything else that makes your heart beat faster. Most likely you won’t see any couples there and, as you already know, phisical activity makes you release endorphins and that makes you feel great. Isn’t this option way better than eating whole tub of ice cream while watching “Titanic”?
  6. Create at home spa day (or evening). Buy yourself a nice bath bomb, face mask, scrub, body cream or anything else your heart desires. Then treat your body with all of those things, paint your nails, maybe try out new make-up look. Why drown in self pity, if you can get busy with self care?
  7. Plan a date with your single besties. I know that I have said “single date” ideas. While you can’t make this idea come true on your own, at least you don’t need a lover for that. And there’s not greater way to rebel against Valentine’s day than to embrace your single life with your single friends.
  8. Go for a walk in parts of your city you don’t usually go to. I have lived in my city for almost four years but even I don’t know all the nice coffee shops, cafes, shops and bookstores it hides. It easy to think your city has nothing to offer, if you’ve lived there for years and walked the same road thousands of times. Get out of your comfort zone and explore. Who knows, what you might find!
  9. Go for a walk with your camera and take photos of everything you find interesting and beautiful. It does not matter, if you are an amateur or pro – enjoy your walk and perpetuate all the amazing moments.
  10. Get in touch with your inner child. I know we are adults now but do you remember what you enjoyed the most when you were seven years old? Maybe twelve? Did you used to enjoy jumping rope, learning dances from tutorials or singing? Maybe drawing, coulouring books or trying out different DIY’s? Try doing that now and don’t be ashamed – no one is watching. Sometimes it feels good to bring back certain childhood memories.

That’s all I can offer you today. 🙂 What are your plans for Valentine’s day? Let me know it the comments. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

The less visible sister of fat shaming – skinny shaming.

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Skinny girl with brown hair in sports gear, walking

Hello, dear readers! By now I think you have all heard of fat shaming. Curvy people, especially women have raised awareness about it a lot during last few years. It is no secret that media has been pushing the image of “perfect woman” onto us for quite a long time. We are still drowning in magazine articles about getting beach body and different diets that will help us lose x amount of pounds every month. However, there is one side of body shaming that has not been covered as much and it is skinny shaming. Yes, that is really a thing! Why am I writing about this? Well, because I have been fat shamed as well as skinny shamed.

During my childhood years I was somewhere in the middle – not really chubby but also not skinny. However, I despised PE lessons and ate what ever I wanted, so I was no way considerable as the fit one. Being a kid and hating sports was not cool at all, so I quickly became the main object of mockery in my school. Most of my bullies were boys, who were skinny and loved sports. They could eat all the junk food in the world and still stay the same way. However, if I would eat too much pizza or cookies, my body would show it after some time. I was a girl and being tall and thin was not in my genes. I was jealous at girls, who were like that. The self consciousness made me feel terrible about my thighs, who seemed way too thick at the time (I mean, how thick can be thighs of a ten-year old, who is not overweight?) and small stomach roll that I had while sitting down. For nine years straight I was laughed at because of my body and fat shamed almost every day. It did not mater, if I tried eating less or dressing differently – I was still the ugly, weird and fat kid. This nightmare ended after middle school.

About a year before graduating from middle school I started working out. Of course, results did not show that quickly but I was getting there. After middle school I decided to continue my studies in a different city and different school. Things seemed to get better – my schoolmates did not care about my looks at all and the fat shaming was over. However, soon after that when my workout results finally started showing, I experienced something as uncomfortable which was skinny shaming. As I continued to workout, my stomach rolls disappeared, hip bones, ribs and collar bones started showing a little bit more. I was eating healthier than before and still had normal BMI, however, my parents started getting worried with no apparent reason. I started getting a lot of comments from them that I workout too much and suggested me to workout less and eat more. I could not understand their reaction. I finally started feeling better about my body after all the fat shaming and now this? My parents have never been on the thin side, so this fact made me nervous from early childhood. Will I look like this when I grow up? I didn’t want to. I wanted to be like one of those fit, happy girls you can see on Pinterest and Instagram. Why was is such a bad idea? My parents should have been happy that I wasn’t one of those girls, who look at thinspo every day and starve themselves.

During last  4 years I’ve been working out and eating healthier but their remarks didn’t stop. Especially from my dad. I wanted to feel better about my body and love it but comments like: “You should eat more. Your breasts have become smaller. Your hip bones are showing too much. Your ribs are showing too much. Are you trying to starve yourself? The way you look isn’t healthy. Stop starving yourself. Stop working out so much.” made me insecure and unhappy. You might think that having a slimmer body would make me more confident. It didn’t. I still listened to what people are saying about it. I felt insecure about my hip bones and the fact that I sometimes got bruises on them after workouts, I felt stressed out because I couldn’t find pants that fit me just right. Most of them were too tight in the area of my thighs and too loose around my waist. I felt insecure about my breasts that were never too big but now got even smaller. I was jealous to girls, who could wear nice lingerie, push up bras and actually have something to put inside them. I was almost flat, I still am.

I shouldn’t hate my body, I should love it and you should do the same with yours. It’s okay to have thick thighs, it’s okay to have tiny breasts, it’s okay have boyish body with no curves or very curvy one without small waist. I’m here to tell you what no one has told me – love your body the way it is now. It doesn’t matter, if people tell you that you’re too skinny, too muscular or too chubby. There is no such thing as perfect bikini body and you shouldn’t stress about getting it. There is not one universal body shape everyone should and would be able to fit. No matter what body type you have, it has its own beauty. Stop listening to media and society in general, who’s telling you that you need an ass like Kim Kardashian or body like Keira Knightley, or that you can’t wear crop tops because your stomach isn’t perfectly flat. Wear what makes you feel good, don’t torture yourself in order to look like someone else. You already have a full package of what you need. Sure, you can do some ab workouts or squats, eat more veggies and treat it like a temple but… never take it for granted. You are beautiful in your own skin – embrace it here and now.

That’s all for this week’s blog post. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as enjoyed writing it. See you next week with another great article. 🙂

Love, Porcelain Doll.

The real reason I’m not very active on social media.

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girl looking at her smartphone and smiling

Hello, dear readers! Today I wanted to talk to you about something more personal instead of sharing inspiring content. Real talk is necessary sometimes, too. If you’ve been following me on Twitter, Facebook, Bloglovin, Instagram or Pinterest, you may have noticed that I’m not very consistent at posting and I don’t post as often as I should have. A lot of bloggers are often active on social media, interract with their fans and are happy to be on those platforms. Well, not me. If you have been following Dolls Have Hearts for a while, you know that blogging isn’t the only or main thing in my life. I love writing with all my heart but I still have priorities like graduating from Music high school and a day job. Those priorities need quite a lot of socializing and energy, so when I finally come home after a lonnng day away, I’m exhausted. And, as an introvert, when I’m exhausted, the last thing I want to do is dive in Twitter or Instagram, see what drama everyone’s been interested in right now and how amazing everyone’s lives are.

I know that social media takes huge role in bloggers’ lives but… it really overwhelms me. Even if I’d use social media post scheduler, it still means I have to think about what kind of content to post and it takes time. The fact that I haven’t been consistent with blogging and posting on social media before makes me even more stressed. Although, on a positive note, I’m proud that one month of 2018 has almost passed and I’ve successfuly posted on my blog every single week without failing. Besides – I’ve posted only quality content. No more ranting posts in here like it used to be few years ago. Anyways, back to the topic of social media. Until this time I’ve been trying to stay active on Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Bloglovin and Instagram because I thought – than more sites I used, than more new visitors I can bring to my site. Well, not really. The key is posting quality content consistently not only on blog but also on social media sites. For example, if I’d pin 5 pins a week,  pin each day and then disappear for few days, I couldn’t grow my Pinterest following at all. People follow each other for a reason – they expect new and exciting content regularly. You get the point. I have no problem with Pinterest because I find a lot of inspiration there but Facebook and Twitter is kind of tough. If not the blog page on Facebook, the only thing I use it for is keeping in touch with my friends and relatives. That’s it. When it comes to Twitter – I used to be a huge fan of it about 4 – 5 years ago, mainly because of the chance to see what my favorite celebrities like Lady GaGa or Taylor Swift are up to.

So, in general, social media for me is good only in small doses and mainly for entertainment purposes. Except Pinterest. Pinterest is life. However, I deleted my Instagram account because the pressure to keep posting regularly pictures from my life, which does not feel that exciting most of the time, was too overwhelming. And seeing my follower count drop as soon as I couldn’t find time and content to post wasn’t exciting. You have probably heard a lot about uncluttering, removing stuff from your life that doesn’t make you happy. Mostly those videos and blog posts tell you about throwing out old clothes, broken stuff etc which is a great idea. I decided to take this a little further and get rid of social media that doesn’t make me happy and deleted my Instagram. Bloglovin is still debatable, however, Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook will stay. I don’t make a promise to post every day on all of these accounts because I would not be able to keep it. I will stay as active as I can and do my best – that’s all I can say.

I truly appreciate every single person, who takes his or her time in the day to read my blog, like the latest post and comment. It means a lot to be heard. It means a lot to be relatable, helpful and inspiring – that’s the message I will continue spreading. Thank you for being here. My blog wouldn’t be the same without any of you.

 

Love, Porcelain Doll.