“Insatiable” – the review of controversial dark comedy series from Netflix.

Debby Ryan with a crown on her head and lighter in her hand

Hello, dear readers! Time is flying so fast for me that I can already feel the homesickness from a mile away. In a week I will wake up not only in a different city but also a different country that I have never even been to – UK. And no, it is not just a quick trip, I will actually spend next three years studying there in my dream university. However, while I am packing, making things work and settling down, I will not give you any spoilers yet. Be patient. Meanwhile – I thought it would be exciting to talk about something that everyone has been talking about for almost a month – Netflix new series “Insatiable”.

When I first saw the trailer of this show, I already pictured it as some cliché teenage form of entertainment and first two or three episodes did not impress me that much. However, as I kept watching “Insatiable”, it slowly but surely caught my attention and kept it until the end of the season. The main character of the show is Patty (aka Fatty Patty) – an overweight teenager, who only has one friend and is heavily bullied in school. Then, after somehow ending up in a fight with a homeless man and getting her jaw broken, she is forced to be on a liquid diet for 3 months of summer. When school year starts, Patty is back as new and hotter version of herself, hoping that people will suddenly like her more. When this plan does not work out fully, she decided to get revenge on people, who hurt her. This pretty much sums up all the series without giving too much spoilers for those of you, who have not seen “Insatiable” yet.

Now it is time to do something I have not done in my movie / TV series reviews before – list pros and cons. Let’s start with the bad stuff and spill some tea. First thing I cringed at – how quick Fatty Patty turned into stunning Patty. I know that Debby Ryan wore a fat suit for these TV series instead of gaining weight but let’s pretend that we do not know that and look at the plot twist realistically. No one in real life looses that much weight in 3 months and looks flawless without any extra skin etc afterwards. Second thing – there were only two characters I could not stand in “Insatiable” and those were Regina Sinclair and Dixie Sinclair (played by Arden Myrin and Irene Choi). I hate to be introduced to new actors and actresses as villains because that makes me want to never see them again in any other movies. Besides – characters of Regina and Dixie were so unnatural, cliché and bitchy that I wish they would not be included in those TV series at all. Third thing that I noticed – okay, Patty’s crush on her mentor Bob was weird to begin with but then when it did not develop into anything else and Patty found another subject of interest, it seemed completely meaningless to mention it in the series at all. Forth thing – now, when I look back at it, I can not stand, how badly Brick Armstrong (aka son of well-known Bob) treated Patty when she was fat but then suddenly became nicer when she got skinny. And during all that time Patty still had a crush on him. It thought that crushes solely based on looks happen only at the age of twelve and later people become smarter. Turns out, it is not the case in these series. Fifth thing – there are way  too many vulgar jokes. Let’s take an example from very first episode where an even, called “Anal cancer awareness gala” happens. First of all – why exactly that type of cancer? Not breast, throat, brain or any other type of cancer, they had to choose anal cancer just so my hated character Regina could make fart noises later on in the episode while making fun of Bob’s speech. Then later on in these series you hear some cringy jokes about child molestation, LGBT issues and more.

Now, enough of the bad stuff, let’s try to figure out, why I actually watched the whole season of “Insatiable”. Debby Ryan seemed like a perfect fit for Patty’s role and I actually liked a lot of Patty’s rebellious moment, her character traits were actually pretty interesting. Second thing that I actually enjoyed were sweet moments between Patty and Bob later on in the series when he kind of appeared more like a father figure to her than just a way older man she had a crush on. Also, in one of the first episodes where Patty had to bond with Bob’s wife Coralee for them to participate in a daughter – mother contest, I enjoyed those sweet mother – daughter moments a lot, even though they did not appear in later episodes anymore.

To sum it up, I can say that watching “Insatiable” was definitely a wild ride with its ups and downs. The plot was not flowing as smoothly as I would like it to but, I guess it is understandable because writers and directors (according to wikipedia) were switched quite a lot from episode to episode. However, I was not bored for a second; even when events in “Insatiable” did not make a lot of sense, I felt quite entertained.

Overall rating: 5,5

Was it worth the watch? Well, that is something you have to figure out yourself. It is not on my favorite TV series list but it definitely does not deserve as many bad reviews as it got and, honestly, I am curious what will happen in next season, if there will be one. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

5 brilliant cleaning hacks for lazy students.

coffee cup, pen, phone and paper on a wooden desk

Hello, dear readers! Even though I have had several blog post ideas in my mind for days, I never sat down to turn them into a post until it was late Tuesday evening. I would love to say that I am a productive person, who knows her priorities very well and can do everything in time, it is just not true. However, my laziness actually inspired me to write this blog post because I know that I am not the only person, who sometimes forgets to make sure her living space is organized and neat. Without any further introduction, here are 5 brilliant cleaning hacks that will make cleaning seem easier and less scary, if you are a lazy student (or just a lazy person in general).

  1. Start with loading your washing machine with clothes because this task takes the longest. You might as well do other cleaning related tasks while your clothes are getting washed and then unload your washing machine and put them to dry.
  2. If the mess in your room is too overwhelming, grab a garbage bag and start by putting empty bottles, old receipts and other trash in it. That way you will be able to put everything in its’ place way faster because useless stuff will be out of the way already.
  3. If some of your tableware has dry food remains on it that do not come off easily, let is sit in the water for a while and do something else meanwhile. When you come back, you will be able to wash your dishes way faster than if you would try to scrub everything off without properly soaking it.
  4. Remove tea and coffee stains on your cups with vinegar. No more scrubbing!
  5. If you use blender to make yourself smoothies, rinse it immediately. That way you will not have to scrub it later and you can get away with not using dish soap.
  6. Clean burnt pan with the mixture of water, vinegar and baking soda. This is a life saver, if you tend to mess up stuff while cooking, just like me.
  7. Clean blood stains with hydrogen peroxide. This works best, if applied immediately and can save your clothing, if you can not wash it immediately.
  8. Divide the space you are trying to clean into several areas. Cleaning takes way more time, if you are all over the place, running from one corner to another, starting several things but never finishing any of them. Better approach would be to divide your space into sections. For example, your bedroom has sections like table, bed, wardrobe, bedside table and floor. You can start by making your bed, cleaning bedside table, then bigger table, wardrobe and finally the floor because now everything is in its place and you do not have to stop after every ten seconds to pick up something that is laying on the floor.

Those are all of the cleaning hacks I could come up with today. Hopefully you will find these useful. By the way – some news that I have not revealed to you before – I am starting my studies in Bangor university this year. How crazy is that? I never thought I would get accepted but here I am. Right now the end of August and the beginning of September will be spent packing and I can not wait to update you on how everything is going. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

“Heathers” – brilliant 80’s black comedy for teens and young adults.

Heathers movie poster with Winona Ryder and Christian Slater

Hello, dear readers! I guess, it has been a while since I posted a movie review, so I decided to keep my blog fresh and post another one. Even though I have been quite busy with work and my love life lately, I still had some spare time to check out new movies… Well, not literally new because today I decided to review famous 80’s movie “Heathers”. I have seen this movie in countless lists of must watch teen movies but procrastinated actually checking it out because I prefer movies that were made in this century. However, one summer day I finally gave it a try, and I was pleasantly surprised.

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The main character of the movie is Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder), who is one of the most popular girls in high school because of her friendship with three rich girls with the same name – Heather. And of course – those girls love to treat less popular kids like shit. If you are a 2000’s kid – think Regina George from Mean Girls. Veronica endures it for a while until one day she realizes that she has had enough and it is time to take down the queen bee of this clique – Heather Chandler (Kim Walker). When Veronica meets mysterious Jason Dean (also refered to as J.D., starring Christian Slater) , they see a perfect chance to teach a lesson to Heather, however, what starts as a harmless act of revenge, ends up as a murder. Veronice feels guilty about committed act but J.D. convinces that they can easily get away with it by making it look like a suicide. The death of Heather Chandler is the first but definitely not the last death in this movie. I will stop explaining the plot now because I do not want to give too many spoilers. I will just say that J.D. and Veronica are quite fascinating but troubled couple. Luckily, at the end of the movie Veronica realizes that J.D. is out of his mind, refuses to participate in any further crimes and tries to stop him.

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Even though most of the actors of “Heathers” are not popular nowadays, Shannen Doherty and Winona Ryder are pretty much still around. Who does not know Prue Halliwell from “Charmed” and Elizabeth MacIntyre from “Black swan”? Side note – Winona Ryder in this movie looks just stunning but that is not the only reason why her character Veronica is my favorite. I just could not imagine a better portrayal of this seemingly naive girl, who finally came to her senses and decided to stand up for herself.

Overall, even though I expected just some overrated teen movie, I was pleasantly surprised and must say it is worth the hype. To those, who want to compare “Heathers” with “Mean Girls” – do not. The first one is a black comedy and the second one – just a girly comedy. However, if you really want to look at the side by side, in my opinion, “Mean Girls” can not keep up with “Heathers” which has the most brilliant plot twist at the end of the movie. Just watch it and you will see.

Overall rating: 10/10

Usually I do not get so excited about movies but this was so brilliant that I had to share my thoughts and offer you awesome movie suggestion. Have you seen “Heathers” already? Feel free to share your opinion on it in the comment section. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.


Used sources for images:

 

Life after antidepressants: the truth.

Book, coffee cup and white square plate with a pink doughnut

Hello, dear readers! If you have been following my blog for quite a while, you might remember my previous posts about panic attacks and depression. If not – here is a quick recap. I have been on and off antidepressants for several times since I was twelve. For quite a while I was on Zoloft which should have made me more calm and not so emotional but made me feel suicidal instead, even though I never really considered taking my own life before. Later my therapist changed my medicine and prescribed me Venlaxor which had to increase my productivity, energy level etc. I ended up feeling like a sleepy, emotionless robot instead, who could not focus on anything. In June 2017 I realized that I am done with medication, it made things worse instead of making them better, so I decided to quit. Not right away because you can not just stop taking your medication without experiencing terrible withdrawal, so I gradually decreased the amount until I finally stopped taking it. Am I proud of my decision? Yes, I have not swallowed another pill ever since. Is my life struggle free now? No. And that is what I wanted to talk about today.

Living with depression and not relying on medication is still tough. Some days seem good enough: I am spending time with my friends, laughing and enjoying the moment. On other days I feel empty, unproductive and just want to sleep, hoping that one day I will wake up but it is not how things work. Even for those, who do not suffer from depression, some days are better and some days are worse. Now, imagine, how it feels for a depressed person. Good days might be just as good but bad days are worse. Sometimes those bad days follow one after another. I can barely get out of the bed, even making myself a cup of tea seems like too much work. I would rather stay in bed and keep sleeping because that is the only activity that does not require energy and any emotion. On my bad days I feel helpless. Going grocery shopping and cooking is too much work, I would rather starve for a little longer. Going out to see my friends takes too much energy and effort. And… are they even my friends? I hate that in adult life it is normal to talk to people you call your friends just once a week or less. In my eyes that makes them turn into acquaintances. Friends are those, who are with you through good and bad times, not those, who you resist to call because you feel like such a meaningless person in their lives.

Since January of this year something terrible has been happening to me. Or I should probably say that something happened and I have been living with consequences ever since. Someone that I just started seeing and getting to know, really let me down. He lied to me about something very serious and then had the nerve to tell me he has nothing to do with it and it is all my fault. We have not talked since and I was left alone to deal with the situation. I am still dealing with it. Still feeling anxious and getting panic attacks because of it. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and it sucks to feel alone in this situation. I have talked to my family and few of my so-called friends but it still hurts. It feels like physical healing is way faster than the emotional one because I am still crying about it until this day. Maybe in the future I will talk about this even in depth but right now I am just not ready for this.

So I keep living: breathing, writing and trying to function like a normal human being. Sometimes I fail and sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I spend most of the day in bed with my laptop or simply sleeping. Sometimes I get out of bed, go to work, meet my friends and actually manage to be quite productive. I have not given up. As long as I am breathing, I am still trying. Sometimes I fail to take care of myself and get drunk or sleep all day but that is okay. Living without being on medication is not easier but it is worth it overall. Even if I do not write or play the guitar every day, I am still more inspired to do it than, for example, two years ago. Even if I do not feel happy every day, at least I have emotions instead of the dull, empty feeling that was caused by antidepressants. Even if all I can manage to do in a day is do my laundry, cook some pasta, shower and clean the bedside table, it is better than sleeping all day and not caring about my surroundings.

This is my recovery – it is messy, unpredictable, with its’ ups and downs but it is happening. If you are in a similar position right now, you are not alone. Stop being too hard on yourself. Stop expecting fast recovery but know that it gets better.

Love, Porcelain Doll.

 

10 red flags you should not ignore in your new workplace.

man in a suit, sitting at the table and having a phone conversation

Dear readers! My life has been kind of hectic for the past two or three weeks and the main concern of mine has been work. Before I was so worried about being unemployed that I did not realize that being employed but working in an emotionally abusive environment is worse that being unemployed. Today is the day I realize I can not tolerate it anymore and the things that have been happening to me are not normal. Why am I sharing this? Because I do not want you to go through the same unpleasant experience I went through. Learn from my mistakes. Let’s begin!

  1. You get promised unrealistic salary, comparing to average salary in the industry. In this case I am talking about waitressing. In Latvia average salary of a waitress is 590 euros, according to website algas.lv . When I saw the advertisement and went to interview, I was a little surprised that I got promised 1000 to 1500 euros monthly, if I do my job well, however, at that time some people told me that such salary might be realistic in a capital city, especially, if I work in an area which tourists visit quite often. Turns out I was wrong – most waitresses do not earn that much, especially, if they are working only 15 days a month or less. Life lesson – check average salary in the industry in your city or at least country, if possible.
  2. You start the job with no previous experience, get promised training but never receive it. It is still a mystery, why I have not received the training they promised me about two weeks ago but it is what it is. Just another shady thing in the mix.
  3. Your boss talks shit behind your and your coworkers’ back. Major red flag that I foolishly ignored at first. I thought that maybe someone is a really bad employee and deserves all the bad words that were said about them but… no. If your boss is badmouthing a certain person behind their back, she / he is probably doing the same to you.
  4. You get promised a certain work schedule that is never made or made without you having a say in it. Even though waitressing is the type of job that ignores your brother’s birthday, national celebration or something similar, schedule has to be made. If it says in the contract that next month’s schedule is made in the previous month with signed agreement of all employees and it is not, that is just another red flag. You deserve a boss, who respects your time. When you work, you are all in. When you visit your family or rest, you deserve to enjoy it instead of stressing out about being randomly called in to work.
  5. You have toxic colleagues. Waitressing is one of those jobs where teamwork is incredibly important. However, in a way it just like playing basketball – if someone in your own team sabotages or ignores you, successful teamwork is impossible. Besides – if your colleague is telling bad things about your to your boss, you are in trouble even more.
  6. Your boss is constantly criticizing you. This time I am not talking about constructive criticism which actually improves the quality of the work. I am talking about the type of critique that lowers your self-esteem, increases the level of stress and decreases your ability to work. In my case I was too stressed that I started to suffer from panic attacks again which made me incapable of doing my job as well as I could. (To know more about how it feels to live with a panic disorder, read this post.)
  7. There is no equality in workplace and rules constantly change. One day I was supposed to use the tray, another I was told not to use it. One day I was supposed to answer to phone calls, on another it was forbidden to do so. My colleague can do whatever she wants, break as many glasses as she wishes, be clumsy, slow and fuck up stuff, and get away with it but as soon as I make a mistake, I am repeatedly told, how much I suck at this job.
  8. Your boss and/or your colleagues do not want to help you, if you do not understand or can not find something. For fuck’s sake… Do you want me to succeed at this job or make a fool out of myself? Without any previous experience I am doing the last one because you deny your help whenever I need it. So what, if it is my fifth day at work and I can not find toothpicks? Be a decent person and help me, instead of looking down on me.
  9. Employees change often. If it is not even your second week yet and you have seen more than one person leaving and new, naive people coming in place, it is a bad sign. Even worse, if the place you work for a looking for employees for months but can not  find dedicated ones.
  10. Your boss is never open for new ideas. “We have always done it this way and that is it. Changing something is not necessary and will not work.” It does not matter that at some point you are excited to make improvements in your job, you are too young and dumb to offer valuable ideas.

I could probably dig up some more red flags that are quite common not only in my workplace but also in many others but I will not. Let’s stop here. The next thing that I have to do today is take a nap and then go to the city centre to quit the damn job. I have pride, I know my worth and I will not let anyone make me feel like I am less than. And neither should you. If you have noticed more than one of these red flags in your own workplace, I would suggest you to reconsider working there. If you are putting all your time, energy and effort into work and it still is quite bad, quit it. Your mental and physical health is something valuable and no amount of money can buy it back once it is damaged. Take care!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

5 simple yet awesome summer date ideas to try.

a silhouette of a couple at the beach during sunset

Hello, dear readers! I am writing this blog post in the afternoon of Wednesday and maybe you have started wondering, what has occupied my mind so much that I can focus on anything else, not even sleeping. I would not call it love just yet but… at the beginning of July I met someone and we have been seeing each other ever since. Our first date lasted for 24 hours, we never run out of topics to talk about and the more I spend time with him, the more I want to see him again. Hanging out with him seems completely natural and I have never felt so comfortable with a guy ever before. I do not have to stress about every sentence that I say or that I am bothering him by texting first, or that he might be repulsed, if I ever forget to shave my legs. Surprisingly we have started this lovely, no-bullshit relationship, things are going very well and I decided to share some of my favorite date ideas we have made come true or plan to do so very soon.

  1. Cooking each other’s favorite foods for each other for dinner. Super simple yet lovely. For some random reason I, who does not like to cook all by myself, enjoy working as a team and cooking together. I love observing, how good we can work together and find compromises.
  2. Going out to a club. Okay, this might not be for everyone because most people prefer to go clubbing with their friends. I, however, do not like weird dudes hitting on me, so I am bringing my own guy with me for two reasons – I always have someone to dance with, who will not ditch me for someone else and I feel safe.
  3. Going on a road trip to another city, perhaps even abroad. This is something we have not done yet but plan to do in near future, so I am very excited already. What is even more fun – we are planning to bring his best friend with his girlfriend along, too. So that mixes this date idea and the next one I am planning to mention into one.
  4. Any kind of double date. I think, we accidentally had one when my friends called me last minute and I had to change my plans for them but I did not want to leave my boyfriend hanging. I figured out that it might be fun to bring him along and turns out that was a great idea because my friends really liked him, too.
  5. Movie night. Do not even argue – nothing beats same old movie night at home. You do not have to pay a way too much money for tickets, you can bring your own snacks and cuddle while enjoying the film. Side note – this can be combined with no 1 and/or no 4.
  6. Bonus idea: Go to the beach. I bet you did not expect to see more than 5 date ideas but… surprise! This one is no brainer but it is way more fun than doing it alone. And, knowing me, I do not go to beach alone, like, ever and have a weird habit of procrastinating on doing things because “ah, I have other stuff to do and this one will not be that fun anyways”.

Anyways, I am ending this list here because my thoughts are drifting away to other stuff and I am few scrolls away from falling down the rabbit hole of Pinterest because looking for new date ideas can be addicting. Hopefully any of these ideas will be useful for you. If not and you are single – keep hoping that your future partner is somewhere out there, waiting for you. I already thought that I have been betrayed so much that I will not be able to open my heart for someone ever again but here I am. I have actually met someone, who likes me for who I am and treats me like a real guy should treat a girl. I am sending positive vibes your way and until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

Dear grandma… This one’s for you.

A stack of letters, tied with a ribbon, handwritten letter and a photo.

Hello, dear readers! I decided to add a little introduction before posting the letter itself. Life has gotten more interesting during these days and that’s the reason why I am writing this post about nine hours before publishing. Don’t get me wrong – I am fully dedicated to blogging but I have always been a master procrastinator and… when I start falling in love, everything else just kind of disappears. Anyways, let’s fast forward to the actual letter.

“Dear grandma… It’s been a while since we talked. Well, if I don’t count in all the times I thought about you and sent my thoughts your way. I don’t believe that all the dead relatives are somewhere up there, sitting on a cloud and looking down to me. Not anymore. But I believe there’s a tiny part of you everywhere I go and I will always remember you. I think of you when a nice old lady helps me to find a way home when I am lost, I think of you when I see wild tulips and when I pass the remains of an old greenhouse in our garden. It is not possible to forget you because in a way you were my hero and for some reason – the closest family member, even though we didn’t meet every day or even every week.

You died when I was just a kid and kids live carelessly – they don’t really appreciate what they have until it’s gone. I still remember the day I was walking home with my friend and told her that you are in the hospital. I never thought it’s that serious. I thought you would spend some time there, then go back home and just go on with your life but… you didn’t. One of the times I visited you with my parents will be forever engrained in my mind. You told me few simple but memorable words: “Always be proud of yourself.” However, my mother at that moment felt the need to add unnecessary comment that I already have way too much pride. It annoyed me at that time because the moment was supposed to be special. Those were the last words I remember that were dedicated to me and they always be meaningful.

Now, when I look back at everything that happened to me since you left, I can say that it was a wild ride. Nevertheless, more often I wonder, if you would be proud of me not if I would be proud of myself. I haven’t been the straight A student but I have tried my best. I didn’t wait until after the marriage to lose my virginity but I lost it with someone I loved. I didn’t turn out to be super polite girl, who never cause any trouble but I turned out to be a little shameless and very passionate person instead. Regardless of ups and downs in my life, I still strive to be better version of myself. There are times when I stop progressing but soon after I am back on the road again. Too much has happened to tell it all.

Even though the loss of you made me feel sad and empty for a while, and wish I had been a better granddaughter, it has also made me realize something. Some good people in my life will stay for a long period of time and some – for a short period of time. Regardless of the time period, I should appreciate every good person in my life and enjoy the time with them that I have been given. Stuff happens – sometimes people slowly and painfully fall apart, sometimes they die, sometimes they just vanish from my life with no explanation and I am facing a choice. I can stay sad for the rest of my life or I can feel thankful that I had a chance to spend time with them and keep living.

So thank you for the nine years I had a chance to know you. Thank you for always being on my side and being proud of me when I couldn’t really be proud of myself. I will always wish we had more time to spend together and more chances to talk about the things we haven’t talked about.

Rest in peace, you will always be remembered.”

Back to you, my dear readers. It was a pleasure to share something personal with you and I look forward to sharing more similar posts with you in the future. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!

P.S. Oh, I almost forgot! I finally have a job. It is a part-time waitressing job but that still counts. 🙂

Love, Porcelain Doll.