Hello, dear readers! If you are anywhere below the age of eighteen, you are probably familiar with the hype about dating apps. Tinder, Match.com , OkCupid, HotOrNot, Happn, Once and many more apps are right at out fingertips and during the teenage years it might seem that if you are still single when you turn eighteen, you might actually find someone decent online. No more worrying about very few options to pick from. When I turned eighteen, I felt excited, too. Not because I could finally buy some wine or beer (although that’s also great) but because I could finally start using these popular dating apps that everyone was talking about. Don’t get me wrong – I was not obsessed with finding someone just so I don’t die alone. I was just bored and wanted to find someone to have interesting conversations with. However, after about a year of trying out different apps I gave up and here are five reasons, why I did it.
- I hate small talk. Guys on dating apps don’t have any conversation skills. In worst case I don’t even get a message. In a better case scenario I get simple “hey”. (Is that really all you have got? You definitely know, how to impress a girl.) And in best case scenario (which is not great anyway) I get “Hey, how are you doing?” or “Hey, you’re so sexy.” At first I thought that this happens only on apps like Tinder, who seem to be used mainly for hookups but turns out it’s a pretty common thing on every dating app.
- A lot of dating apps that are seemingly free, include paid upgrades that allow to send unlimited messages, view profiles etc. I’m so tired of this bullshit. Stop advertising a certain dating app as completely free, if it’s not. No one likes to create an account in hopes of meeting someone just discover later that they can’t send a message to their crush cause they don’t have a “premium membership”.
- I believe that all long-lasting relationships start out as friendships. And by long-lasting I mean at least 5 years, that’s the very minimum. The thing is – no one on dating sites is looking for a friendship, they are pretty straightforward right away. I, on the other hand, am a demisexual (which means I’m experiencing sexual attraction towards someone only when I have formed emotional bond with that person) don’t know right away, if I will want to engage in sexual activity with a certain person and I don’t want to rush it. To me chemistry should happen before physical intimacy, not afterwards. Sadly, most people, especially guys, think the opposite way.
- They’re full of catfishes and underage people. That’s the biggest risk of dating online – everyone can be, whoever he or she wants to me. Fifteen year olds can pretend they are twenty and the guy next door can pretend that he looks like Ansel Elgort. You may never know, if a person you are talking to is telling you the truth. Some people install dating apps just because they’re bored, some because they want to catfish others, some just are too curious and decide not to obey the rules (underage people!). Either way, that makes the mission of finding the perfect match even more impossible.
- Personality tests to help you find your perfect match are pretty much useless. So what, if someone doesn’t smoke, is caucasian, likes to go on coffee dates and is a cat person? That still doesn’t mean that we will get along. Sure, so-called personality tests are simply interesting to fill out but do they really increase your chances of meeting your ideal partner? I highly doubt that. It’s just another scam to make you more interested in certain dating app and assure you that somehow it’s better than all the others.
So those are five main reasons why I decided to stop using dating apps. I could rant more about their uselessness but I think that I already gave you enough reasons in this post. From now on I will just simply focus on being more present and meeting people in person. To tie this post with the previous one – life is not what happens on your phone. It’s what happens around you while you are too busy swiping and double tapping. Live here and now! However, if you actually have dating app success story and you disagree with my opinion, feel free to share your thoughts in comment section. Until next time on Dolls Have Hearts!
Love, Porcelain Doll.